Like Mother, Like daughter

The kitchen is a dangerous place. After all, it is the room where you use fire every day (if you have a gas stove like us at least). It also is the place where many sharp implements are found; including one fantastic tool called a V-slicer (also known as a mandolin by some manufacturers), which makes cooking dishes like scalloped or au gratin potatoes a hell of a lot easier.

The V-slicer also has a wonderful safety feature called the food holder that pierces and holds the potato (or whatever you're slicing). This works great, but not when you're starting to slice an oblong vegetable like a carrot or a large russet potato. So, what you do instead is slice the potato not quite halfway, very carefully of course and then put the holder on for the rest of the potato.

However if you're anything like my mother or I, you're doing this while:
1.) rushing to get the potatoes in the oven
2.) trying to hold a conversation with someone (usually a guest in your home)
3.) pretending that you don't have a klutzy bone in your body

And then you delay dinner further by cutting a large chunk of your thumb (Mom) or pinky finger (me) off and needing to wrap the damaged appendage in about 100 ft of gauze and surgical tape. Yep, we're both missing chunks of our fingers from the same accident a few months apart from one another. Thankfully, no stitches were required for either of us despite losing a sizeable chunk of skin.









It was really only a matter of time until I lost part of a finger though - Gramma Ho! Ho! is also missing part of her finger due to a cactus-induced infection when she was younger. So, Amy, you better watch your fingers - this seems to be genetic!!!

I'm two months old, smiling, and conversations with Blue Dog

RJ sleeps his fair share of the average for his age which is around 16.5 hours. Some days it is less, other days more, but so far not more than four or five hours consecutively. But what does he do in the time that he's awake (and not eating)?

He has his mobile with the interesting zebra. He seems to enjoy swinging in his, well, swing that Grandma D got him which also has a mobile that has bouncing leaves.

At this stage there are two things RJ is working on:

- language/social development
- motor control

So, to that end some things that we do to foster his development are:

- provide a running commentary on what we're doing.
- ask questions such as; "Who's the best football team around?" then give RJ a chance to coo and then say, "yes, that's right, the Steelers!"
- read aloud, right now RJ is learning about character animation and developmental psychology in addition to the wacky world of Dr. Suess and other children's book authors
- sing; Lance claims that "The Humpty Dance" seems to be a favorite so far followed by my made-up "Go to sleep little RJ go to sleep" song

It seems to be working. RJ is two months old and he's doing more cool stuff by the day. My personal favorites are his cooing and the smiling, which he's been doing for that last couple of weeks. I finally captured these on the camera to share.And for those of you who are thinking, but hey, I can't HEAR him coo in this images, click on the smiley picture below and you'll be linked to more pictures of RJ and a video of him cooing. One other thing that he's been doing is not only "talking" and smiling at people like momma and daddy, but also to his toys that have faces. For example, he had quite the conversation with Blue Dog while I was folding his laundry the other day and even reached out to touch Blue Dog (on purpose)! This is the first time I've noticed an actual controlled reach for something other than my nipples (yes, he finds it necessary to grab and squeeze them prior to eating), so kudos to Aunt Amy and Uncle Luke for picking the toy that he specifically reached for. Of course my picture only got his touching Blue Dog, and not all the cute expressions and exclamations, but I'll be better about snapping pictures next time. He also enjoys "talking" to Stuffed Monkey and the rainforest creatures on his bouncer and swing and play mat.

Happy Anniversary to Us

Four years ago last week, we got married on a pretty sunny day in Buffalo. We celebrated by leaving our cutie pie with a babysitter and going out for some yummy sushi. We went to Kawa Sushi in Livermore, which was as yummy as the first time we went for my birthday last year. They make a fantastic caterpillar roll!

As much as I love our little boy, and kept seeing his little face in my head, it was very nice to get a break and get through a whole meal together with Lance with no interruptions or eating in shifts! We plan on continuing the celebration when we treat ourselves to a Napa wine tour in a limo on Labor Day when Izzy and Jaime come to town.

RJ seems to like his babysitter, Erika, who is one of my former students and currently a research assistant of mine. When we came home, he was smiling and cooing with her, which is a great sign since she'll be watching RJ when we're on the wine tour also.

RJ's First Family Visits and Clogged Milk Ducts

When RJ and I were in Buffalo, RJ got the opportunity to meet his relatives for the first time.







He even went to his first bar; 'Ponies' in Middleport.

In addition to the wedding, Lance and I also rented a car and drove down to Pittsburgh from Buffalo to take RJ to meet members of his family and our friends Carl and Lisa. It was a whirlwind trip, but well worth it for us to show off our cute little boy some more.

It was also on this leg of our trip that I discovered the agony that is a clogged milk duct. Although given my feeding behavior, it's not surprising that this happened. I fed RJ regularly AND pumped after almost every feed for a week - so my milk supply was up. Then at the wedding, I pumped, but not as often or for as long as I probably should have. Then I slept that night and obviously didn't get up every three hours to pump. Then when I did get back to RJ, I didn't pump after feeding him AND I fed him pumped breast milk from a bottle when we were on the road because he drinks a bottle faster than the breast (and didn't pump because we were in the car). So I had all this milk coming in and it wasn't all getting out. So, our first night in Pittsburgh, my one breast decided that it had enough of this and started getting lumpy and sore - the symptoms of a clogged duct. My shower the next morning and massaging it helped, but didn't unclog it, and so I dealt with the pain all day long, which was only temporarily relieved while I was nursing. Then at the end of the day we got to a store to get some Advil and we got back to Lance's Aunt and Uncle's house, where I discovered the joy that is a heating pad. By morning the clog was a memory, and my breast was not lumpy and sore anymore. And of course, now I know what to do if this happens again.

RJ's First Wedding (Amy & Luke's Wedding)

On July 28, RJ attended his first wedding - his Aunt Amy's. Not only did RJ attend, but he was also part of the wedding party along with his mommy, who was the matron of honor, and his daddy, who was a groomsman. His official title was "baby groomsman". This is a completely made-up role that basically meant that Grammie Carola made RJ a cute little red and white outfit (Amy's wedding color was red) and involved my cousin Sarah, the Jr. Bridesmaid pulling a decorated red wagon with RJ and his car seat down the aisle. Made-up or not, this had to be the cutest thing ever, particularly because he was an angel and slept through the whole ordeal - even when Sarah had to go off-roading with the wagon to get him to his nanny. This really only reiterates the fact that RJ really is a very chill little baby.
RJ also discovered what planning a wedding was like - particularly the three days in a row of shopping and errands with my mom, sister, and I. Like any good member of the male species, RJ slept through his visits to various stores and rides in the car. As angelic as he was during this wedding planning, I would like to point out that while he was great with all our running around, it was not free as RJ was pretty awake (and fussy) at night. We were taking shifts taking care of RJ between feeds at night to help with my general sleep deprivation and ability to function. This basically meant that I would feed him every three hours, but when he was done eating, he'd go to either Grammie or Aunt Amy for burping, diaper change, and getting to sleep. We did this because otherwise, I'd only get an hour of sleep or so every three hours by the time he would go down, and would be useless the rest of the day. RJ particularly liked to be awake (and fussy) during Aunt Amy's 12-3 shift. This was fitting in a way because he *might* have been paying her back for having to go shopping all day long. : ) This led to Amy's wanting to burn the onesie he wore one of those sleepless nights, which said, "Party in my Crib, 2am". I think it got easier as we got more settled though.

The wedding itself was a lot of fun. My mom set up a nanny (her friend's daughter, who is a professional nanny) for RJ from noon until midnight. This allowed Lance and I to actually participate in the wedding and the requisite primping for it and to enjoy the reception, while still having RJ around. The nanny took care of RJ right at the wedding and reception, which was really nice because we could scoop him up and show him off when we wanted to, and also take him back when we wanted to have some time to ourselves. This allowed us to dance for the first time in quite a while. The reception was a lot of fun - the music was great and both families really got into it! Even though the Bride and Groom typically start off the dancing for the evening, at this reception, Luke's niece and nephew, Gracie (flower girl) and August (ring bearer) started dancing during dinner, providing some fantastic dinner entertainment. Gramma Ho!Ho! joined in on the "locomotion" and my Uncle Bob even got so into dancing that he ended up on the floor. I'm sure he was sore the next day, but at the time he got right back up and continued dancing! Amy and Luke seemed to really enjoy their time on the dance floor as well.



Another plus was that I was able to enjoy the top shelf bar at the wedding - my first drinks since September! This was very exciting and I was thrilled that I amassed enough pumped breast milk for the whole wedding and night after.

And lastly, since we had booked an extra room at a B&B down the street in case anyone needed it, and no one did, Lance and I got our first full night sleep together since RJ was born. My mom wanted to watch RJ overnight, since it was her last night with him for a while, there was plenty of pumped breast milk, and we were not about to argue with getting a full night sleep! So Grammie Carola left the wedding with RJ and we traveled the one minute down the road to our night of good sleep! The B&B was unique in that it was also a llama farm. So when we got up in the morning, we were shown through the llama barn and got to see the llamas up close.

All in all, we had a terrific time and wish Amy and Luke the best in their marriage!

RJ's First Airplane Rides

Exactly one week after scaring the bejesus out of us with his surgery, RJ and I embarked on what would be his first airplane ride. Most people are still relaxing and cuddling at home with their little bundles of joy when they are 4 weeks old - and most people who have spent the last week in Children's Hospital are definitely still relaxing at home. I instead was carrying my little recovering bundle of joy and pounds of his baby paraphernalia through airport security and getting very bored with the, "how old is your baby?" "oh my! why are you traveling?" "he's so tiny, what does he weigh?" and "what's his? her? name?" questions from everyone from the TSA security people that make you take off your shoes to the random person sitting three rows up on the plane. Now I know that RJ is absolutely adorable and it's only natural that he attracts the attention of everyone, but dealing with the attention for 9 hours gets old fast.

I was incredibly nervous about flying with RJ by myself not only because I didn't want to be that person on the plane with the inconsolable screaming kid, but also because I worried that he would start vomiting again or that he'd having painful ear popping (after all, my ears ALWAYS clog and pop during decent). Luckily RJ was an angel and he didn't even spit up! He actually slept for the most part when he wasn't eating. He even fell asleep in the middle of our takeoff!

So, what did we learn about traveling with a baby?

1.) Babies require lots of crap. For a two week stint, we checked 3 suitcases and a pack-n-play, carried on one monster sized diaper bag, which also housed my laptop, a large backpack, my purse, and the snugli. Then we gate checked the stroller, and the carseat with its base.

2.) Babies under the age of 2 can ride on your lap in the airplane at no extra charge - you just have to call the airline ahead of time to add the lap infant to your booked seat.

3.) If you think airport security is a pain in the ass already, just try and hand the nice TSA guy your folded up stroller while holding the baby and balancing the laptop, outside of it's nice backpack home, all while trying to take off your shoes while you have a line of people behind you.

4.) Despite the tight security that we all now enjoy, it's remarkably easy to get a lap infant through the security checkpoint for domestic flights. No birth certificate is required, so I could've been carrying anyone's baby. That's a scary thought.

5.) Trying to feed a baby under a blanket is a complete pain the ass. While I didn't get any complaints when the blanket repeatedly fell off, it's good to know (after the fact) that federal law protects breastfeeding, with or without the blanket in all 50 states. I plan on just whipping out the boob next time. Anyone who is uncomfortable with seeing my nipple for 30 seconds or seeing sideboob when my kid eats can suck it.

6.) There is a really no perfect place to sit with a lap infant while flying coach. The aisle is good when you have to get up to change the baby or pee, and it's even better if no one else in the row needs to get up. However, the window is better for breastfeeding because you're less exposed and you don't have to worry about your arm or the baby's head getting smacked by the drink cart. Sitting at the back of plane is also not ideal because that's where all the people waiting for the bathroom hang out and lean into your row when they try to pass one another going in opposite directions. Sometimes these people are completely oblivious that they're taking up valuable space from the baby and sometimes they try to sneak a peak at a boob while passing by.

7.) Everyone LOVES babies - every flight attendant stopped by my seat to see the "tiny little baby" and I got at least 5 offers to hold RJ if I needed to pee. I however, really wasn't comfortable with this and choose to pee while holding RJ in the snugli. It really isn't any more difficult than peeing while having a big pregnant belly! The return flight with Lance was clearly a lot easier since I could pee by myself.

To the brink...

This is not easy to share and is not a fun story like many of the rest. We've managed to become quite attached to our little guy over the past three weeks so as can be expected were panic-stricken in our mad frenzy to the emergency room the other night.

Things had been going really well. RJ had been putting on weight at about 1oz per day, and feedings started stretching out to 3 hours at night so we managed to get enough sleep. The balance of work and life is of course challenging, we have good friends who have long attested to that fact, but we finally got to experience it first hand. Despite the little nuisances, we were in a place in our life to enjoy the warmth of having a small baby laying on our chest, the tight grasp of five little fingers wrapped around a pinky, and the curious gaze that can only be interpreted as a cross between awe and admiration. We lucked out with an incredible kid too. RJ is very chill, he lets us know when he's hungry but doesn't find any reason to whine about it. He was starting to mimic our expressions, finding greater control of his hands and moving them to his mouth. We were parents and loving every minute of it.

Monday was a bad day.

Monday morning something out of the ordinary happened, RJ had a spitup. We had not yet had to deal with this right of passage in parenthood but were not too worried. There was no fear of choking and it was small and wet. I headed off to work and Cheryl was set for her daily routine of feeding and caring for the cherub faced boy. Unfortunately however, the vomit did not stop. When I returned home from work Cheryl was quite upset. The day had turned into a routine of crying from hunger, feeding, puking, and then more crying. The other night we had a question about the Hep B shot so we already had the pediatric offices night number on hand. Giving details over the phone of what was going on the nurse was not too concerned, but given the description of yellow vomit being spitup two hours after a feeding, she recommended going to the emergency room at children's hospital in Oakland for fear it was bile. We remarkably calmly packed up the car and our precious child to drive to the hospital around 11pm.

A busy ER had us waiting for awhile before being seen. The consensus was that our dirty burp rag was bright yellow, the color of breast milk, and not the neon yellow of bile. They examined him and ordered an x-ray to check for a blockage. Everything looked fine and he managed to keep a feeding down while at the hospital so we were discharged around 3:30am and drove the hour home. The recommendation was shorter feedings and to keep him upright to avoid reflux. We were relieved that we over-reacted and that things should be better tomorrow.

Tuesday was worse.

Already sleep deprived, Tuesday started out ok with a few good feedings. The word of the day was fraught, ominously suggesting what was to come. We had a follow-up appointment with the pediatrician in Livermore, and after feeding him in preparation he vomited again (a lot). The pediatrician inspected the rag and thought it was possible he had a bug but that he should get better. He was still wetting diapers and everything but noted that if things got worse than he was during the day that we should take him back to Children's Hospital. Poor Cheryl hadn't had more than 20 minutes of sleep at a time in like 30 hours, and I was only slightly better at getting a 2 hour stretch. When I got home from work, Cheryl was clearly worn out so we figured we could tap into our pumped milk stash so that Cheryl could get a 6 hour stretch of sleep. We could then switch off at that point. RJ broke me after 90 minutes -- he was crying uncontrollably. We were trying to limit the feedings to avoid reflux and he was clearly angry about being hungry. I fed him a little bit more every 20 minutes or so but it was not enough. Sleep deprived, tensions high, he started vomiting. He then was hungry again, so I warmed up some more breast milk. He took it down, waited 15 minutes, and then spit up even more before crying again. I had to wake up Cheryl, things were worse. We were scared, he had a small mucus filled poo earlier in the day but we hadn't had a wet diaper all night. Too delirious from lack of sleep we barely made the midnight drive to Oakland.

Wednesday was awful.

After some quick checks, they decided we should be admitted so that RJ could get IV fluids and some blood tests. We were also set for an ultrasound to check his abdomen for blockages but the tech wouldn't be in until 8am. His tiny little hand was wrapped up with tape and various plastic cups to keep him from knocking around the IV needle they had to stick in his tiny little hand. We were told not to feed him while waiting for his ultrasound in the morning. We were taken to a room probably around 3am and Cheryl was provided a pullout cot next to the crib. Only one parent is allowed in the room, so I had to have my own restless night in the parents lounge down the hall. I've found that when I close my eyes all I can see is his little face and the expressions he makes. Even when waking up to go for the ultrasound and doing a stretch, yawn, and head roll reminded me of the exact maneuver the boy does when he wakes up. I just found myself hoping that I was the one experiencing the discomfort and pain so that he could be alright.

Pie what?

The ultrasound was positive for Pyloric Stenosis. We were told that we would be taken back to the room and a surgeon would come by to give us more details about the surgery. Yes, our baby, our 3 week old baby needed to have surgery. What if there are complications? This was serious, not just a bug. It is a very real possibility we could lose him. These and many more fears raced through our mind as we held each other for comfort.

The resident surgeon stopped by after a few hours to tell us about Pyloric Stenosis.
The condition is an obstruction of the muscle that controls the flow of food from RJ's stomach to his lower intestines. The pylorus muscle becomes swollen and since the milk cannot pass it comes back up. This only further aggravates it until no food can pass. For somewhere between 1 and 4 of every 1000 babies this can happen somewhere between 3 and 8 weeks -- just when they are most vulnerable.

The surgery was considered urgent, so we were put on the schedule, but not an emergency, so we didn't have a time. The waiting begins. For the next 10 hours we had to sit in a room with RJ screaming. He was hungry, looked at us pleading for food, and there wasn't a damn thing we could do. It was an agonizing experience, one I wish upon nobody. He was on an IV with fluids and nutrients, but that did nothing to calm our panic or his instincts.

Sometime during that ordeal we met the surgeon, Dr. Cartwright. Fortunately we felt comfortable with the woman who was tasked with saving our baby's life. She explained exactly how the procedure would work. With laparoscopic surgery they would go in and cut the pyloric muscle. It would heal and everything would be fine. The success rate is very high and the recovery time very low, expected to be 24-48 hours. We were mentally relieved but still emotionally strained.

The strategy for recovery is to ramp up the feedings, and only when a feeding is tolerated will the quantity be upped. So that meant 1oz pedialite, wait 2 hours, then another 1oz. Then it moves to breast milk with the same thing. After two consecutive successful feedings we could up the quantity to 2 oz, and so on.

The Cavalry

We were optimistic going into the surgery all things considered. Though not as important as his health, the surgeon suggesting that Cheryl and RJ could fly to Buffalo just a week later as reassurance that things would be ok. Despite this prognosis, Cheryl's mother and sister managed to book flights to come out. We told them it wasn't necessary and everything would be fine, projecting more confidence than we honestly felt but all the same they both had flights on Thursday.

Barely Baby Steps

Thursday morning RJ slept and refused feedings. This concerned us since he was expected to recover quickly. It also was a contrast to the previous three days of what felt like prolonged starvation. Later in the day he finally started to take a feeding here and there, but we couldn't advance past the 1oz benchmark. Being able to differentiate a spitup and a vomit is difficult, and then to quantify the vomit to determine whether it all came back up is even more challenging.

Friday things did not fair much better. He was finally able to keep down the small feedings, but as we approached 2oz the vomit resumed. Late in the day Dr. Cartwright was still surprised by his lack of progress and so decided to start medication. He was given a baby sized regimen of Atropine which was supposed to dry up his mucous and relax his pyloris muscle, which might have been tight from surgery.

Saturday morning we were still struggling with keeping feedings down. We were concerned because as days passed the amount of milk Cheryl could pump was decreasing. What if the diagnosis was wrong? Could there be something else obstructing things? Might we be heading toward GERD, a scary sounding intestinal issue that could affect him the rest of his life. What if he's allergic to breastmilk? Is that possible? He ate the last of what we had pumped and promptly vomited it up. He was still hungry, so Cheryl put him to the breast this time.

This worked. He was able to keep the feed down, so we mentioned it to the surgeon who said to go with it. He continued to vomit every other feeding just about, but he started to keep a few down. Wary and tired after four days of projectile vomiting and hospital accomodations there was a glimmer of hope we might be able to go home.

Discharge

We dealt with a lot of baby discharge this week, but this was the good kind. He kept a few feedings down in the evening on Saturday so if he kept one more down we might be able to go home. His next feeding was for 8pm so we eagerly watched the clock for two hours hoping the wide awake RJ could stomach the feed. He only had a small spitup so success. He weighed 6 pounds and 9 oz at discharge. The surgeon admitted that it was up to us what we wanted to do and she probably wouldn't have let us go if we didn't have our own NICU nurse for support. Despite the optimism of going home, his being back under his birth weight nearly four weeks later was demoralizing. Fortunately, getting back to our home environment seemed to do the trick. Saturday night he vomited up his initial feeding, but through the night he managed to keep a few feedings in a row down. Things snowballed from there and for his Monday checkup with Dr. Cartwright he had gone nearly 12 hours without vomiting and managed to gain 2 ounces. He was still only making one wet diaper per day which concerned us.

Tuesday night, one week after rushing to the ER we had what seemed like a content RJ who was putting on weight, hadn't vomited in 24 hours, had made a big poo in the morning and was wetting diapers more frequently.

We are very thankful to the good folks at Children's Hospital and to Grammie Carola and Auntie Amy who helped us bring Reed back from the brink.

RJ and Momma's First Week Alone and Cloth Diapering Commentary

The Grandma elves (who cooked and cleaned and brought RJ to me when it was time to feed him in the middle of the night) have left and Lance is back in DreamWorker land, which leaves RJ with his Momma full time during the day. We've had quite a week and we might be getting a rhythm, but it's hard to tell. RJ tends to march to the beat of his own drummer - there doesn't seem to be two days the same at all.

However a couple of things are constant - he definitely eats. We've been doing a lot of breastfeeding, which I'm now discovering as he's gotten crankier as the week progressed is the only surefire means of getting him to stop crying. Who knew my boobs had such mystical powers? If only they could get him to STAY asleep once he comes off the boob and I want to move him to the crib. Also he eats on demand, so sometimes I might get a 20 minute break between feedings and sometimes I get 3 hours (we try not to let him go longer than that at this point). We're trying to get him to stick to every 2 hours in the daytime and every 3 hours at night, and for the most part he does. However, for the last few days he's been crankier and wants to feed more often, particularly in the later afternoon and evening.

The car and the stroller seem to be close seconds to put him to sleep. We went for a walk around the neighborhood on our first morning together and he fell asleep quite nicely. Then on Tuesday, we ventured out to Walmart so that I could get some cheap material to make cloth diaper wipes to go with his cloth diapers. On this adventure he was asleep before I even got his carseat in the car, and he STAYED asleep during the transfer of the carseat to the stroller, from the stroller back to the car, then back to the stroller to go into Michael's, then back into the car, and during our stop to get gas, and miraculously, he stayed asleep even once I took him out of the carseat and into the crib when we got home! I think that was the last time I successfully got him into the crib without his waking at least slightly.

The whole family went grocery shopping on the 4th, and RJ slept through that trip too.

And on Friday, RJ had his checkup and we went to Joann Fabrics after so I could get the additional materials I needed to make his wipes. He slept in the car and in the store then too.

In addition to eating and sleeping, he also poos and tinkles. To catch said poos and tinkles, we started cloth diapering, which so far has been pretty easy. We chose to cloth diaper because in the long run, it's cheaper (even accounting for laundering, i.e. hidden costs), better for the environment since the poo goes into the sewer where it belongs, rather than in the landfills where it doesn't belong, it's better for RJ's skin, since he's not exposed to dioxin and other dangerous chemicals that the major brands of disposable diapers use, AND when it comes time to potty train, typically cloth diapered babies do it earlier because they feel the wetness sooner than paper diapered babies. So the pros outweigh the cons, which are really only having to wash the diapers - but I usually just rinse out the poo and soak the diapers in a bucket and the wet diapers just go right into the diaper pail in the nursery (we have a Diaper Champ - which works for cloth diapers or disposable). And that's really no more work than a disposable, since solids are supposed to be knocked into the toilet anyway (not just wrapped up in the diaper and thrown out like the great majority of disposable diapering parents do). So we have 24, soon to be 48 Unbleached Chinese Prefold Diapers in the Infant size and 4 Bummi's Super Whisper Wraps covers, and 12 Fuzzibunz pocket diapers (all in small), which we're using as covers, but can also be used by putting in an absorbent insert and replacing the whole diaper at every change (we might use these for daycare if it's easier).

So, we first put on the prefold diaper, using the flying angel wing fold and a Snappi fastener.

And then we put on the Fuzzibunz without an insert (which we have in multiple colors) or a Bummis cover.
I also recently tried out the Fuzzibunz as a pocket diaper with the microfiber inserts and they work very well too - but the prefolds with covers are more economical.

All in all, it was a good first week, and I think we're all adjusting and trying to get a rhythm!

RJ's Two Week Checkup

RJ had his two week checkup on Friday (July 6) and he's a healthy baby boy.

The last time he went for a weigh in, he was 6lbs 9oz. and when he went in for this checkup he was up to 7 lbs, 1 oz. So, by his two week mark, he's exceeded his birthweight (6 lbs. 13 oz.) and gaining at a very appropriate rate. Typically pediatricians expect a newborn to regain their birthweight by the time they're 2 weeks old, and then gain about 2/3 oz per day. RJ has actually gained 1 oz per day since his last visit, so he's doing great!

He also got his Hepatitis B shot and his first Snoopy band-aid.

Be careful what you wish for...

Be careful what you wish for, especially when what you are wishing for is poo.

I guess all new parents go through the process of eagerly anticipating when the next poo will come when they are infrequent and dreading the diaper roulette of finding a present when it is your turn to change the diaper. Somehow the British can make this whole process sound less disgusting:

It's amazing how much time we mums spend inspecting our baby's nappies, trying to figure out whether the frequency, colour and consistency is normal or not.

Not five minutes after birth while wrapped in a blanket on my tummy he had a massive crap. Then, things got quiet for awhile. The pediatrician said not to worry as some newborns will go as long as nine days between poos, but with the whole scale fiasco we wanted to see poo to insure he was getting enough to eat.

After a five day poo-embargo things started moving and it wasn't too bad, in fact, I was thrilled with how well the new cloth diapers withstood the onslaught. And then, like all good baby poo stories, all hell broke loose.

Around 10:30 pm on July 3, RJ had a massive blowout. I've changed a few diapers in my day and it is by far the biggest poo I've ever seen come out of a small baby. It was a two person job and required a full bath. It was everywhere, soaked the diaper, the diaper cover, his legs, onesie and socks. There might have even been poo on the ceiling.

I apologize for not taking pictures, but as I'm sure you are all curious he has been quite regular ever since.

Ladies and Gentlemen, We Have a Belly Button!

RJ turned two weeks old on July 3 (also my sister Amy's 25th Birthday, and Andrew Otte's 29th Birthday - Happy Birthday you two!!!)

In addition to his being another week older, he also woke up without his umbilical cord stump! That little piece of dried up crap that looks like a brownish green raisin showed up in the top of his diaper. Now, I don't have to worry about hitting it or worry about the green goo that was oozing before it fully dried up!

And of course, here is what his cute little belly button looks like!
And here are some more pictures of our 2nd week with RJ, including his first sponge bath (he couldn't have a full bath until his umbilical stump fell off),


some family naps,

time with his grandmas,

his first restaurant visit (Jimmy Bean's Cafe in Berkeley),

and some random cute pictures too (clicking on this one will link you to the rest).

Back to "Work"...

I went back to the daily grind today after my two week stint of bonding time. I had considered taking one week and then taking a single day a week off for awhile, but having just gone through it I couldn't imagine taking any less time. Maybe when we have a third kid and I don't care anymore, but having the extra time now was really important so that I could be around to help Cheryl and RJ find their routine. It also helps that California has a pretty good Paid Family Leave program. The way it works is that the state through disability insurance funding agrees to pay roughly 55% of my paycheck. The company then uses vacation time to make up the other 45% and allows me to take 5 sick days. I can take 6 weeks total over the course of a year, so my usual 13 days becomes roughly 33 paid days off.



It wasn't all work today though, we had a special screening of Transformers. I wouldn't say it was a good movie, but I loved every minute of it. It delivered what I expected it to be and was a lot of fun as a result. In fact, I drove home with a goofy little boy smile on my face.

2 Weeks Down, 934 to Go...

We know a measley four pictures cannot possibly hold you for very long, so here are some snapshots of our first two weeks together. A word of caution, in order to see the cuteness that is RJ you may also be subjected to looking at my new, much larger boobs. However, we're all adults and you've seen boobs before -- so a little side-boob and cleavage aren't really that exciting are they?

We spent the first 30 hours or so in the hospital. There is not a whole lot you can do in the hospital, but they do depict our first bonding moments and lots of broken sleep. There are also a few pictures of kangaroo care, skin to skin therapy, to help RJ get warmed up his first evening in the world.

Here is a rare glimpse of the kid without his essential accessory of a hat. He's got some big feet if you know what I mean.

With the concern for jaundice the doctor recommended some brief exposure to the sun.

By the fourth visit to the doctor, RJ was getting quite bored with the whole process.

RJ has hands like Hines, and some instincts clearly kick in from birth.

Screw you dad, this is my territory now.

Believe it or not but the hand down the pants and birdie shots were natural and not staged. More pictures from our first week at home:

RJ's First Trip to the Doctor

So RJ had his first doctor visit on Friday June 22. And there are pictures of our visit.



Newborns typically lose some weight before the mother's milk comes in, but RJ was just on the cusp of weight loss where they start to worry and he was a little jaundiced, so in the last few days, we've gone for multiple weigh-ins. But the good news is that since my milk came in (the day after his first visit) he's back on track with gaining. I actually have my suspicions since he was weighed on 5 different scales, that perhaps his dramatic weight loss wasn't actually as dramatic as it seemed, but since he's turning around anyway, all is good.

Here's his stats:
Birth (Scale 1, Dr. 1): 6.13
Day 1 (Scale 2, Nurse 1): 6.9
Day 3 (Scale 3, Nurse 2): 6.0
Day 4 (Scale 4, Nurse 2): 6.7
Day 6 (Scale 5, Nurse 3): 6.5
Day 8 (Scale 5, Nurse 4): 6.9

Perhaps if Scale 3 (what I see as the outlier) didn't exist we wouldn't have had to go to the doctor's office 4 times in 6 days just for weigh in and color check. But the good news is that he has started gaining, the jaundice is gone (which has coincided with our getting our breastfeeding rhythm down as well) and we have a 9 day break from the Dr. before he needs to go in for his Hep B shot and 2 week checkup late next week.

Happy Birthday Boca Chica!

On June 19, Boca Chica turned 2. And if you think this is just another silly post about the cats, think again...

In addition to this being Garfield and Paula Abdul's birthday, for Boca's Birthday present we gave him a little brother named Reed Jeremy (RJ) DeLancey.


RJ was born on June 19 at 4:24pm Pacific time (that's 7:24pm for you East Coasters).

Here are his stats: 6lbs, 13oz., 20.5 inches long.

Taking it from the top, on the morning of June 19th I woke up pretty restless, I couldn't decide what I wanted to do, and I felt a bit off and a little crampy, but I was just having slightly stronger braxton-hicks contractions. At about 8:00 AM, Lance left for work, and I almost told him that maybe he should stick around, but I didn't want to raise a false alarm, so I didn't. But I still was really restless - I couldn't decide what to eat for breakfast and so I checked some email first. Then my back hurt a little with what was still like a braxton-hicks contraction and I figured that maybe I should ask my mom if it could be a real contraction. She said it might be, so I called Lance, who was now about 15 minutes into his commute. He turned around - and in the process managed to almost exit into a truck weigh station instead of the next exit. I then ate some breakfast and took a shower. (If the contractions went away during the shower, then I would know they were braxton hicks and not the real deal - they didn't go away, in fact they got closer together - we were varying between 8 and 2 minutes apart - very irregular, but still very much there. We got some stuff together and Lance, Momma C, and I got into the car to head to the hospital. This was around 9:30 AM. Along the way we called our midwife and she said that being about 3-5 minutes apart now, that heading to the hospital was a good idea. At this point I could still talk during the contractions pretty well, although with each contraction, my back would hurt more and more -- I actually think my back was contracting more than anything else.

When we got to the hospital (it's about an hour away), we went right up to the maternity ward and into triage. They checked me and listened to the baby briefly - I was 4cm dilated, 100% effaced and at 0 station, so I was admitted and we promptly got the largest labor and delivery room on the floor.

Using the combination of jacuzzi tub, birthing ball, standing positions, and kneeling on hands and knees -- I tolerated 7 hours of back labor without medication. The last hour of pushing resulted in the delivery of a screaming baby boy.

After making a few initial calls we were directed to the post-partum suite with a gorgeous view of the city across the bay.

We were discharged after a hectic and sleepless 30 hours. We weren't sleepless because of RJ, he was an angel, but the non-stop interruptions from the nursing staff led us to turn down staying an extra day so that we could recover at home.

Want a Boy or a Girl...

From a Psychology Today article:

In comparing identical twins, Kohler found that mothers with one child are about 20 percent happier than their childless counterparts; and while fathers' happiness gains are smaller, men enjoy an almost 75 percent larger happiness boost from a firstborn son than from a firstborn daughter. The first child's sex doesn't matter to mothers...

Cute Kitty Update

So Bacardi and Boca Chica are probably going to get a lot less attention once the baby comes. Or at least they're going to hear the word, "no", a lot more. For example, "No Boca, get out of the crib" or "No Bacardi, I can't pet you now, I'm breastfeeding". And they've been getting the silent treatment on this blog, even though they're very much a part of our lives. So, since they were being cute the other day, I snapped a picture and decided to share. Now, this pose lasted long enough for me to sneak out of my chair, waddle to the hallway to get the camera and waddle back and take this from a couple of different angles. However, after I snapped a few pictures, Boca ruined it by pouncing directly on Bacardi (what else is new?).



Also, both kitties know something's up. Boca in particular loves to snuggle up to my belly at night and tends to follow me around the house. Although I think he senses a change...since he decided that attacking my legs was a good idea today, when he hasn't done that for a really long time. Although, it's also possible that he was pissed that he got his claws trimmed by me this morning...who knows?

Also, for those of you counting, Boca Chica is celebrating a birthday soon. He will be 2 years old on June 19th (yep, on my due date). We're not sure if this is ACTUALLY his birthday, but it's the birthday the vet gave him when they saw him the first time.

Belly Shot Update - 39 Weeks

Yep, still pregnant...and still huge...and still not tipped over.

My due date is Tuesday, so I'm HOPING that this will be the last of the belly shots!

My progress...

Cheryl is not the only one making progress, my STARmeter rating is up 185% since last week. I don't really know what that means, but it's cool.

Nugget's Prenatal Appointment - 39 Weeks

Both Nugget and I are doing fantastic. Everything is right on track. For those following my progress toward the birth, I am now 60% effaced (that's 10% up from last week), and still at about 1.5 cms dilated. AND Nugget has dropped. Of course, like always, this doesn't actually mean anything, these aren't indicators at all - I could still go post date or have the baby tonight, it's all a mystery, but progress is good! I'm thinking that this weekend will be a good time to start following the advice of Rachel's OB on 'Friends' in "The One Where Rachel is Late". I'm not late or anything, but it would be nice to have this baby, or at least we'll have fun trying to start labor!

For those of you who want to know what all those terms mean, read on. For those of you (like Sully) who have no desire to know what exactly is happening to my internal organs, you might want to stop here, although I don't think these descriptions are particularly gross or anything.

Dilation: This is the one that most of you probably already know. Basically this is the cervix opening up for the baby to pass through. It's measured from 0-10 centimeters. At 10 centimeters, the mother can generally start to push the baby out, although some don't get the urge immediately, usually because the baby hasn't moved down that far yet (see Station).

Effacement: The thinning out of the cervix. A cervix is usually like a cone that sticks out of the bottom of the uterus. When a woman is preparing for childbirth, the cervix starts thinning, or disappearing. It basically gets sucked up into the uterine wall or becomes part of the uterine wall. Keep in mind that the cervix can be closed and still effacing. When the cervix is effacing it also gets softer and more pliable, thus making it more able to dilate. In first time moms, most of effacement usually happens prior to dilation, although in subsequent births, they can happen simultaneously.

Station: I don't have numbers on this one yet, but it's basically how far into the pelvis/birth canal the baby is. I know that the Nugget's head is at my cervix, since the midwife could feel his/her head, and I'm guessing that Nugget's head is somewhere in my pelvis, since he/she has definitely dropped, but I don't have a station number on it. Station is measured from -3 to +3, where -3 is floating unengaged over the pelvis, 0 is reaching the ischial spines on the pelvis, which means that the widest part of the baby's head is engaged in the pelvis, and +3 is when the baby is crowning, or visable at the vaginal opening to the outside world.

(Diagrams from http://www.healthline.com/images/yodo/big/obip02-05tcg-g1.gif and http://www.healthsquare.com/fgwh/wh1c2603.jpg)

Nugget's Nursery

Nugget's nursery is officially ready for it's little occupant and we took pictures to share the end result (click on the posted pic to see the nursery from other angles). We'll eventually put more decorations on the wall, we have the Madagascar Movie Poster and a limited edition print of the characters that still need to be framed and hung, but that will all happen in time! And at some point there will be a cover for the lampshade too, but that requires me to actually make one!

Belly Shot Update - 38 Weeks

Yep, we only have another week to go 'til Nugget's Due Date! For those keeping track, I still have not toppled over, though my back and pelvis do feel like they might just let me crack in half sometimes. :)

Let's see if I make it to Saturday for another picture!

Cowboys, Gorillas and Hippies...Oh My!

We don't plan on becoming hermits once the baby arrives, but we thought we'd have a fun weekend in the California sun just in case we find ourselves busy for awhile.

On Saturday, we went to the Livermore Rodeo. Yes, in addition to being known for wine and nuclear weapons, Livermore has a very well attended annual rodeo event. Of course, we didn't actually go *in* to the rodeo since we're not rodeo people and couldn't justify the $12/person plus $8/car -- but we did see the (free) parade in downtown Livermore.



We rolled out of bed at an early hour on Sunday to go to Golden Gate Park. We didn't spend much time in the park but we did take a little stroll (err waddle) and saw the gorillas. There is a 7K race that raises money for African Gorillas, and all the runners get a gorilla costume with their registration fee. But in San Francisco it is not enough to *just* wear a gorilla costume. No, you need a costume for your costume. Anyway, it was an interesting spectacle - we might just have to do this one ourselves next year!

Finally, for some social interaction we went to Erin Medlin's appartment for her mimosa and "baked" goods brunch prior to the Haight/Ashbury Street Fair. It is the 40th anniversary of the summer of love for those keeping score. One particular highlight of this hippie scene was a local PTA tent pictured here. It might be hard to see, but yes, that is an elmo-adorned bra wearing, scantily clad woman manning the PTA's "big red yarn ball of love".

After the fair we stopped off in Pleasanton at Stacey's Cafe for a late lunch. I have recently taken up reading Scott Adam's blog. He for those not familiar is the creator of Dilbert and his daily reflections remind me of Dave Barry. Anyway, this was his restaurant that we snacked on some Grilled California Free Range Chicken Sandwiches with Avocado (the menu is quite witty).

(If you click on the pictures, you'll see more pictures from our weekend adventures).

Directions to the hospital...

We could be heading to the hospital any day now so we wanted to make sure we had directions. For those who haven't heard about it, or those who have but couldn't find any place they were interested in seeing with it -- here is the google street view of the hospital.

Mothers, make note of these directions yourself in case nugget decides to come and you find yourself needing to tell the cabbie where to go.

Nugget's Prenatal Appointment - 38 Weeks

Yesterday Nugget and I went to the midwife. Weekly appointments (which are routine at this point in pregnancy) are really a pain in the ass, but I suppose the peace of mind that everything is going along as it should is good.

So, no new news really - Nugget sounds great on the doppler and appears to be growing appropriately. I'm doing good too. For those interested in the progression toward the birth, I am about 50% effaced and about 1.5 cm dialated. Remember that this could mean that I will go into labor tomorrow or that won't go into labor for weeks. It's amazing how little we still know about what predicts birth timing! But Nugget is full-term now, so it can be any time.

Anyway, all is well and we're slowly getting ready for the big day.

Week 37 Belly Shots

Here are the links to this week's belly shots.

I also should point out that we've been labeling them by the whole week of pregnancy completed, which basically means that even though we took this picture this morning and it's labeled 37 weeks, I'm in the midst of my 38th week and actually closer to being 38 weeks pregnant, since on Tuesday, I'll have 38 weeks of pregnancy under my belt (heh...literally). This is true of all the belly shots, since we take them on the weekend.

Yes, I know, I'm huge. But, I've managed not to tip over yet, although I do wobble like a weeble. I also waddle a good amount too - I'm sure that will only get worse once the baby drops!

All work and no play has made Cheryl insane

I don't know whether it's my sudden lack of pile of portfolios, papers, and exams to grade or pregnancy hormones, but since I finished grading my last portfolio (about 10 minutes ago), I've been pretty much giggling uncontrollably with a goofy smile on my face while Lance looks at me like I'm a circus monkey.

I think it's relief. I made it through my first year as a new professor, and I managed to finish the semester BEFORE going into labor! Ah if only I could celebrate with some tequila...well in a few weeks maybe I can have a delayed celebratory sip.

Now let the nesting begin!!

Pregnancy FAQ...

Aunt Debbie sent us this forward which was quite relevant for us so I thought we could share with everybody.

Pregnancy Q & A

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.