I can't believe it, but RJ is three years old. I still can't believe that Lance and I have had a child for three whole years! It's been a great three years though. RJ has grown up a TON this year. He looks so much more like a tall and thin kid than a baby (especially when comparing him with his behemoth chubster baby brother). His understanding of the world has also grown an amazing amount.
Here are some Stats
Height: 39 inches (95th percentile)
Weight: 32 pounds (just over the 50th percentile)
Size: 3T clothes, 4T pajamas, 11 shoes
Favorite Toys: Anything related to Disney/Pixar Cars. Yep, the son of a DreamWorks production engineer is obsessed beyond belief with their competitor's product. He makes up stories acted out by the cars, rehearses scenes from the movie, and generally incorporates them into his everyday life every waking moment that we'll allow him to. I really wish he would branch out a little. It seems like he's stuck in a transportation rut. One thing we're trying to do is encourage him to at least build some structures for the cars out of legos, and incorporate the cars into other play (he made them all pizza in his kitchen the other day), so that he gets varied experiences. This is even more important now that he's home full time and won't have the structured time at preschool to be without his cars.
Favorite Color: RJ's favorite color used to be Yellow, but over the last 6 months, his favorite color has shifted to Red (like Lightning McQueen of course!)
Favorite Food: Ice Cream (vanilla), Chocolate (really ovaltine) milk, carrots, refried beans, Nutella and Peanut Butter Sandwiches, Strawberries, Cantaloupe, Shrimp. His eating tends to be pretty inconsistent, but that's par for the course with 3 year olds as well. We're just lucky that he will eat pretty varied foods (e.g., california rolls and edemome at Sushi Restaurants) and will eat fruits and veggies over other foods on a regular basis. Even if he doesn't eat a lot, what he does eat is pretty healthy.
TV: RJ watches the occasional animated or kids movie (e.g., Cars, Madagascar, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Mary Poppins), Sesame Street (even though I think it's gone downhill since we were kids), Dora the Explorer. We try to limit his TV viewing to Saturday mornings only, although occasionally, I let him watch something during dinner time if I need to nurse Logan at the same time (it's not comfortable to nurse at the kitchen table, and since we eat before Lance gets home, I don't like to make him eat there all alone.)
And here's a description of his development thus far:
Language: RJ has an incredible gift for the gab. He speaks clearly and in paragraphs. Most adults can understand him with no translation necessary (except when he gets too excited and talks superfast). He can tell you stories now - both from memory of real events and imaginary outlandish tales. He asks questions too. The infamous "Why" is of course apparent, but lately, we've gotten more of the "What is ____ for?", "What happens after _______?" and my favorite, "What am I learning about today?". He has figured out the rules for past tense and plurals, which is clear from his application of the rules to the lovely irregulars in the English language (this is called overgeneralization in the Language Development literature). The boy can hold conversations independently, and his extensive language and conversation skills are also shown in his never-ending pretend play, where he can carry on both parts of the conversation. And as anyone who has been following my facebook wall already knows - he keeps us entertained with his often precocious statements. My favorite recent conversation was:
RJ: When Logan grows up, he'll be a big brother.
Mommy: Oh, do you think we should have another baby in our family when Logan gets bigger?
RJ: Yes, I want you to have a Lily in your uterus.
Cognitive: RJ is a smart kid, sometimes bordering on being a smart ass. My favorite example was when his Doctor, at his 3 year old check up, drew two lines on a piece of paper and asked him which was longer. RJ wouldn't answer her question and instead told her that she needed a line between them to make it an H. His conversations definitely show off his pretty deep understanding of the world around him. He's known all his colors for a while, but as of late he is adding some more complex colors to the his repertoire, such as "aqua". He frequently uses color as an indicator that two things "match". He also recognizes and labels the basic shapes (circle, triangle, square/rectangle), although squares and rectangles are often interchanged. He also understands basic comparisons, such as big vs. small, in front of vs. behind, near vs. far.
He can recognize almost all of the capital letters, although he does get silly sometimes and calls them all "H", which is his favorite letter. He also knows that letters make up words and that words start with letters. He can even tell you what letter some words start with - although it's still unclear whether he's memorized the information or if he actually understands and matches the letter sounds. Sometimes this happens spontaneously, like when he randomly informed me a few months ago that "K" is for "Krishawn", so there might be some actual understanding underlying, although this isn't a skill that children typically have at 3, so even without actual understanding, his interest will help immensely when he does want to start to learn to read.
His number recognition is lagging behind letter recognition, presumably because he has a lot more experience with letters with his intense love of books, and his letter puzzle, etc. However, he does recognize 8, since that's our mailbox number. He can count with a one-to-one correspondence, although he typically chooses not to because he likes counting all the numbers. He also doesn't need to count to know that there are either one or two of something. He can count to 20, although he tends to swap around 13-15 or repeat 14 or 15 for 13, 14, 15. He gets the pattern of counting higher and can easily count with the help of an adult to at least 30, as we have been at the end of each month (we count the days of the month that have passed every day to determine the date).
I wish he was more into puzzles, but that will come with time and experience.
Motor Development:
In terms of gross motor, RJ is right on target for his age. He runs, kicks a ball (pretty well actually - he has a little aim), throws balls, jumps (loves the trampoline), practically runs up and down the stairs, even alternating his feet most of the time. He can't yet catch a ball, but he hasn't had a whole lot of practice either. For much of the last year, Lance would play soccer with RJ when they went to the park on the weekends. That's one area that Lance is working on with RJ - sports skills. He's been teaching him to swing a bat, throw baskets, and throw and catch a ball. In the last few weeks, RJ has shown a marked improvement on his tricycle, in that he has been pedaling it by himself without any parental "help" from the push bar. He can steer relatively well too, although he (unfortunately) finds it hilarious to drive up on the neighbors' lawns, so it often looks like he can't steer well. RJ can also pump while on the big kid swings at the park, although he prefers to be pushed still, which is also right on target for his age.
Fine motor development is also progressing nicely. RJ likes drawing circles and lines and he likes coloring in the vicinity of the lines (but CLEARLY does not stay in the lines!). He likes to draw the letter H as well. I'm sure more letters will be coming soon. He did make a J out of duplos one day. He seems to be right handed, but occasionally will draw with both or with his left hand. I try to keep his choice open by putting his utensils on the table for him to chose his dominant hand. He is also getting better at peeling stickers off by himself, which is NOT always a positive development, because I keep finding the duplo eyes on the door frame of the downstairs bathroom.
Self help:
RJ has been potty trained for almost a full year now, although like any kid, will try to hold it til the last second. Luckily, he's pretty good at holding it. We rarely have an accident, and if we do, it's usually because we're just not close enough to a potty or because he's in a new environment, or because he's hot and sweaty and can't get his pants and underwear down. He's been potty trained at night since November. We have not had any nighttime accidents in at least 6 months. When RJ was at school, he even had to wipe himself after going poop, although at home, we usually let him wipe and then check to avoid needing new underwear and irritation. He's really good at it though, which is fairly unusual for a 3 year old boy. He is getting better at dressing himself independently too. He can put on his own underwear and pants (as long as there are no buttons or zippers), and is getting better at putting on his own t-shirt too. He usually can get his sleeves on, but getting it over his head first is hard. We're still working on buttons, snaps, and zippers. He can put on his own velcro sneakers once we help him with the socks. RJ can also undress pretty easily too - we're still working on his technique for getting a t-shirt off though. Today, RJ showed some impressive independence. Apparently, when we weren't looking, he sat in his applesauce (his plate was on the floor), went upstairs, took off his shorts and underwear, went to the bathroom got his stepstool, opened the top drawer of his dresser, got out underwear, put them on, and then got out a new pair of shorts. Later that day, we noticed he was wearing different shorts. I think we each thought the other had changed them. This also showcased his increasing problem solving skills as he had to figure out how to get the underwear that he couldn't reach.
Social-emotional: RJ loves playing with other kids, and talks about his friends all the time. He is still working on sharing and taking turns. Sometimes, he can still get aggressive (mostly grabbing toys and hitting, but unfortunately, he has had a few bouts of biting at school), particularly when the attention is not on him or when he is frustrated with how another child is communicating with him. He is also aware of his and others' basic emotions (happy, sad, angry, excited, scared). Lately, he's had a LOT of fears, which is fairly normal for three-year-olds, since their imaginations can be so intense. However, sometimes I think it might be a manipulation tool to keep daddy in close proximity, since he doesn't get to see him much during the week due to his commute. In any case, it's a sign that he is able to understand emotion and situations well enough to navigate through his interactions with us and with others. In general though, he can be a really sweet kid who really just wants everyone around him to "be happy". He also gets frustrated easily, so we're working on getting him to persevere with trying to do things for himself.
Discipline: In general, we use guidance toward appropriate behavior, and natural consequences. I've found that often he can regulate/change his behaviors if I give him a count to 10. That gives him time to change course and gives me a chance to calm down if he's been particularly ornery at any given time. When he's doing something that needs an immediate change, I do occasionally yell if he doesn't listen the first time, or if he really needs to stop in his tracks (like if he runs into the street). But for the most part, if he doesn't change the egregious behavior at the end of the count, then some sort of natural consequence or loss of privilege occurs. Unfortunately, the most effective of the consequences is a loss of his Lightening McQueen and company, which is currently his prized possession. I say unfortunately, because I'd rather use more natural consequences, but given that he doesn't care about the natural consequences 9 times out of 10, this is what usually motivates him. I'd rather he was intrinsically motivated to behave, but we're working on that slowly. We don't use time-outs as the punishment, however, we do sometimes remove him from a difficult situation and talk to him if we can't get through to him in the milieu (nor do we label taking him out of a situation a time-out to him). If there will be a consequence for a behavior, it is not the time out itself, because we perceive taking time to chill out when angry a positive, rather than a negative behavior. We try to explain that leaving a situation that angers us is how we SHOULD cope with it, rather than lashing out physically (which is precisely why we NEVER use physical punishment with him - and NEVER will). All in all, our methods are from a different philosophy than the one a lot of us grew up with and/or it might be different than what you use(d) with your kids, but it works for us, and follows the best practices literature for early childhood education, which keeps my professional skills fresh too.
I think we have a great three year old, who is developing into a sweet and precocious little boy! I can't wait to see what the next year brings! I really enjoy his take on the world!
Eating: Logan still nurses about every two hours during the day - although he has started to stretch the time between feedings to 3 hours in the afternoon and evening since he's also getting solids at lunch and dinner time. Next week we'll start adding breakfast solids too, and I'm hoping that we can go to 3-4 hours. However, at this point, since he keeps nursing a lot at night (see "Sleep" below), I don't necessarily want him to stretch too much, because he'll try to get in his feedings at night (which we're trying to cut out). We started solids @ 5.5 months after I couldn't get through a meal without him grabbing my food. Plus we were hoping that it might help with nursing at night (so far, it hasn't changed that). Here's what he's eaten (in the order he's tried them) avocados, rice cereal, sweet potatoes, peas, carrots, zucchini, bananas, pears, butternut squash, and yellow summer squash. Next on tap are probably green beans, apples, plums, spinach, broccoli, beans, and/or whatever baby friendly vegetable shows up in our CSA crate. I've made all his food from scratch except for the pears and butternut squash, much like we did for RJ during this stage. 
Sleep: We're slowly making progress, but sleep is still in small increments. Generally he's asleep from 9-7, but was waking up at 11, 2, 4, & 6. We've recently started sending Lance in to get him back to sleep without my boobs at least at the beginning of the night. I really have to get better at just not nursing him to get him back down because well, he's over 19 lbs at 6 mos, he does NOT need to eat in the middle of the night. We've had some success getting him to sleep in the pack and play for an hour or two at the start of the night, but given my general sleep deprivation, I can't even stay awake until he's done nursing to wake up Lance to put him down in the pack and play no less get myself out of bed to do it. It's a vicious cycle that we're trying to break. He generally takes a morning nap starting between 9:30 and 10:30 and an afternoon nap starting sometime between 1:30 and 3. It would be nice if I could count on his naps being in his bed, but as long as he at least sleeps a little (which he gladly will in my arms while nursing), he is usually in a good mood.
