Halloween 2012

RJ was Harry Potter, since he has been LOVING the books (we've been reading them at bedtime!).  His was an easy decision.  Logan was a little more indecisive, but we finally settled on Hedwig (Harry Potter's snowy owl).

RJ in his school's Costume Parade

RJ's Kindergarten Class

After School, RJ & I carved pumpkins together.

Logan was there too, but he mostly ran away with the pumpkin tops and tried to destroy them.

Logan and RJ with their Jack-O-Lanterns

Hedwig and Harry

I love this picture of my cute little Hedwig

Candy Corn Parfaits for a light dinner (Mandarin Oranges, Pineapples,  Honey sweetened Plain Yogurt)

Trick-or-Treating with our friends

Group Picture

Post-Trick-or-Treating Crash

More Halloween Pictures here.

RIP, Grandpa C

We were destined to travel in October.  First Logan and I traveled to Long Island for Heather and Iris' Wedding and then on October 14, my grandfather passed away and we found our way headed East again, although for a much more somber occasion.  

One thing I really have to say at this point is that RJ was actually helpful!  I think this is the first time we've traveled where he managed to carry his own stuff in a backpack AND wanted to help pull the luggage.  So that aspect of traveling is getting easier.

How we found them sleeping in the morning.

Traveling at the last minute is always a little crazy, but we really weren't counting on delays out of the gate at SFO and missing our connection in Charlotte as a result which of course necessitated an overnight in a hotel, followed by a really early flight out in the morning (at least the airline paid for the hotel).  So, the children were eating their pizza dinner at midnight (felt like 9pm to them, which is still late, but...) and finally settled down by 2, and we had to be up at 6.  Oh, and did I mention that the flight there was super turbulent and that Logan managed to vomit, all over me, twice?  Yeah.  But once we were in the hotel room, he was just fine to run around and play and devour pizza.  

We arrived in Buffalo with just enough time to relax for a few minutes and then shower and get ready for the first viewing.  I have to say that I think Grandpa would've liked that there was a larger celebration of his life, looking at old pictures of him and sharing old stories, rather than everyone bawling their eyes out.  Sure, we're all going to miss him, but he had a full life and touched so many people in a positive way and those are happy memories that we'll all have.

Speaking of which...I wrote and delivered the eulogy at his funeral.

Today I am wearing a ring that I haven’t worn in quite a while - I’m surprised it still fits.  It might not be as sparkly as my engagement ring, but it does carry with it a certain amount of symbolism.  See, once upon a time, I got dragged to a lot of craft shows when my grandparents were selling their wood crafts AND jewelry.  The friendship knot rings were the most common ones, and I have a few of those still too, but this ring that I’m wearing today was a result of a pre-teen version of me wanting something COOLER than a friendship knot.  So, Grandpa sat there (I believe this took place sitting on one of those log benches up at the trailer at Parkwood) and twisted the gold into what I see now as a crazy mess.  But THEN.  Well, he had just created the most AWESOME piece of custom jewelry EVER.  He handed it to me with a twinkle in his eye and a smirk, and said (a bit sarcastically), “How’s that?”.  Well THAT, Grandpa, was pretty cool, and THAT is exactly how I am choosing to remember you - as the sweet caring man, who was a little rough around the edges...the man who kept laughing when Grandma & him kept confusing the space bar with the return key at middle school Grandparents’ Day, or who came to my third grade class to talk about rocks and minerals during his rock hound phase in the 80s.  

It's ridiculous that I don't have a picture of Grandpa
doing this, even though I KNOW my father does! So a
picture of me and Lance the last time I was at Parkwood will
have to suffice

Or, as I’m sure everyone will agree with, the man who was patient in teaching two generations of us how to fish, all the while rolling his eyes because I was a total girl and wouldn’t put the worm on the hook myself until I was an adult.  He wasn’t even mad when I was an overzealous caster and nearly hooked him a dozen times...before settling into my usual routine of fishing for 15 minutes and then curling up on the boat with a book while my Dad and him sat and fished.  

And of course, he would dutifully put his life jacket on as he walked back to camp so that Grandma would think he actually wore it in the boat.  He would disappear for hours to hunt for the frogs that he used to catch the fish....all so that on Christmas Eve, we would all happily devour Canadian Bass from Paudash Lake in our Wigilia meal which I think everyone can agree is irreplaceable.

I know I’m supposed to stand up here and reminisce about the poignant, caring, and loving moments, and of course, make you all cry, but I don’t think Grandpa would enjoy that very much, so let’s all become “celebrate life” kinds of mourners today.  After all, it was the gruffer, sometimes sillier side, that endeared him to all of us. I think my cousin summed it up the best when she posted “we’re gonna miss your crazy Polish ass” on facebook this Sunday.  That crazy Polish man she speaks of left us with such fine memories as once blessing the Christmas tree with vinegar because grandma handed him the wrong bottle...but mostly ignored the smell until my dad kept sniffing the air around him obnoxiously, and then, his reaction was a curt, "shut up".  

Growing up hearing stories of Grandpa dealing with the trials and tribulations of parenting has always proven amusing.  Whether it was chasing my aunt and uncles around the house with friction ray guns in the dark while Grandma lay in bed with the flu or playing what might have been either Ravels Bolero or Crazy Jungle Music like Norwegian Wood while spitting watermelon seeds in the kitchen, or nearly knocking himself out while slipping and sliding all over the homemade hockey rink in the fields, painstakingly running the hose back and forth over the ice to make the rink as smooth as glass, or teasing David (who got the boat stuck between two trees in the narrows) by saying, “boat’s never been the same since David drove it”, it was clear that Grandpa loved and enjoyed his family.

Note the camera in his hand...

In fact, if this was a wedding or a graduation instead of funeral, we’d probably be hearing that familiar hum of his camera rewinding the film after he took the last picture on that roll. 

When Uncle Jim crashed his car,  and left a note that only a kid in trouble can, saying, “Wake me up when you get up, we have a problem”.  I can practically hear Grandpa wake him up gruffly saying, “What’s our problem?”  And the fuming that escalated as they drove to and then saw the totalled car is completely understandable. But the touching part of the story was how after hearing other people circling the car and spouting speculations like, “..they must’ve died”, he was quiet, then said, “I’m glad you’re okay”, and never said another word about it.  But Uncle Jim also didn’t get to drive another family car for a while either.   He sometimes opted for the quiet punishment for his kids...seeing Uncle John’s new tattoo at age 16 and pressing his thumb into it as it bled, but he also found the humor in his kids like when they stuffed reader’s digests down their pant before getting whacked with the belt, and while he still made them take down their pants to get their punishment, he chuckled his way back down the stairs...clearly recognizing their ingenuity. And you know you’re in a unique household, when you’re woken up by your father  exasperatingly saying, “How much money you got?  I gotta bail your brother outta jail.” 

Just after RJ dropped Jesus.

The legacy that he leaves, regardless of how far flung we may become is the deep love and pride for this family and its traditions that he instilled.  My favorite holiday is Christmas.  And a great part of my love for that holiday isn’t because of the presents, or even the meaning behind the holiday - it’s because of the reverence for following our Polish traditions and heritage and including all of us in them...in real life and as increasingly smaller snowballs on the family room picture window...a tradition Nicole has carried on.  Even when it might have been ill advised to let my 18 month old RJ carry in ceramic baby Jesus amidst the chaos that the entire family squeezing into the family room creates.  Sure enough, he kinda got confused and dropped him, but Grandpa didn’t say a word while my heart pounded until the danger of shattering an irreplaceable family heirloom was over.  Many of us can't wait to turn the Christmas lights on as soon as the tree is up...but keeping the tradition of lighting it for the first time as it gets blessed ( a task much easier once it got hooked to a power strip)  is part of the magic that grandpa brought to the holiday.  And as the family grew, Grandpa relished in the new traditions that popped up too...teasing and laughing as Amanda, Sarah, and Candice performed their annual fashion show, parading around in whatever new outfits they got for Christmas gifts and swapping Christmas dresses.  And some of the legacies are simpler, like how he laughed when after 30 some years, my dad finally figured out why grandpas pancakes,using the same recipe, were always better.  

We might be sad that our grandfather, father, husband, friend has left us, but he leaves us with these rich memories and traditions that we can pass on for generations to come.  
Bob Dylan once wrote, “how many years can some people exist, Before they're allowed to be free?”  The last couple of years have been rough on this family, knowing full well that “existing” is what this man did.  But now, he’s free again, drinking his evening martini with those giant green olives.  And while the answer to WHY he had to merely exist for a while, might be “blowing in the wind”, Grandpa himself will always be floating...in a boat.  On Paudash lake.

Amazingly, RJ and Logan behaved quite well during the viewings and the funeral, and in the crazy whirlwind of visiting with relatives.  And while our traveling was not under the best of circumstances, it was nice to see the kids get to visit with family, even if that was mostly climbing all over David for a while.

In fact, RJ did so well, that we decided to reward him with some new legos when he got home.   

Spooky Pumpkin Patch: Another story by RJ

RJ likes to tell stories - here's one from October...

Once upon a time, there was a scary pumpkin and the pumpkin found other scary pumpkins.  And then a scary ghost crept down to them.  A ghost that was really mean with prickly teeth.  And the ghost found other ghosts that made the pumpkins bad.  Then a zombie came along too.  And then the pumpkins grew bigger and found candy to eat to make them even bigger.  And then a monster came along and bats fluttered over them.  Then a black cat came and said, “MEOW!!!”.  Then all the pumpkins jumped away because the cat scared them.  Then a witch came and followed the bats on her broomstick.  A skeleton came along.  Then the pumpkins actually went to a place full of dirt to hide.  And the ghosts were stealing candy and food from other people because these are the things that are talking.  And the bats landed in their cave.  Then the witch landed at their cave too.  Then, a person, a girl, and a boy came along.  They were named RJ and Ashlan, and Zach.  And then the people, they knew it was Halloween.  They didn’t want anyone to be scared, so they dressed up like a ghost, a monster, and a witch.  RJ was the ghost, Zach was the monster, and Ashlan was the witch.  The ghosts were spooking in the sky and they scared RJ, Zach, and Ashlan.  And they hid behind a tree.  Then Toothless the dragon hopped down and they got on him.  Then Toothless flew up into the sky, said, “RAWR!” and then they pulled off the zombie’s costume.  It was a person!  They pulled off the ghosts’ costumes and the witch, and the monster.  The bats fluttered.  The pumpkins went on everyone’s doorsteps and still ate candy but spit out the rest in the garbage.  Then Ashlan, Zach, and RJ lived happily ever after.  

DeLanceys go to Joan's Farm (again)

The beginning of October can only mean one thing - it's time to make the annual pilgrimage to Joan's Farm and Pumpkin Patch for our friend Zach's Birthday party!  We've also been there in 2010 and 2011!

I made the cake again...this time, Zach wanted a lego cake, but different from RJ's lego cake.  

Here are some pictures from the farm!

September in Pictures

Big Kid Co-op Fun

Logan and Ethan love gymnastics

RJ at Gymnastics

Tomato Season!  

Spaghetti Sauce Canned

RJ at Swim Lessons (No pictures of Logan since I was IN the water with him!)

I got to climb Butt Rock on Mount Diablo with my good friend Laura

Little Kid Co-op Fun

In September, the kids and I were working on a Music Theme, for more on that, check out my other blog http://mommaphd.blogspot.com/2012/09/music-theme-september-10-14-2012.html

More September Pictures are Here

Heather & Iris' Wedding - October 2, 2012

I'm not sure that words can really do justice to the moments or emotions involved in the marriage of Heather and Iris.  Heather has been my sister since my freshman year of college and we've seen each other in high points and low points, and when Heather told me that they were going to head down the aisle, I knew that there was NOTHING that would've stopped me from being there.  It's one of my proudest moments being able to sign their marriage certificate and I couldn't be happier having Iris in our lives too.  Watching love happen is a beautiful thing.

Blushing bride Heather with her mom and brother

Sleepy Logan before the ceremony

Heather and I

Sealing the deal with a kiss

Me with the Happy Couple

My Crazy Son at the Wedding Dinner

Happy Couple!

 More pictures here.

Planes, Trains, and Tow Trucks: Logan Goes to New York City (Part 3: Monday)

We started Monday off right with bagels and lox!!

And then I got initiated into New York City-style driving by following Iris to Queens from Rockville Centre.  I believe that the phrases, "We're all gonna die" and "she's going to do that?  Oh SHIT, I have to do that!" were used frequently as I white-knuckled my way through the ride while somehow managing not to piss myself or injure anyone.  Actually, it's a miracle that I didn't teach Logan any choice phrases in the process, because there was a LOT of New York City-style cursing occurring during this drive and not all of it was under my breath.  It probably would've been amusing if someone (my mom or Randy) took pictures of this, but that is probably for the best as it could have gotten distracting.  They were probably just too busy fearing for their lives.

We arrived in one piece and parked across the street from Iris' aunt's building and hopped on the subway toward Central Park.  Logan and the rest of us loved the Central Park Zoo.  We saw sea lions, penguins, a polar bear, a snow leopard, red pandas getting fed and lots more.  

That awkward moment when the deer
realizes that the crane is bigger than it. 

Mom's face after the ibis pecked at her finger 

The children's zoo is actually separate from the Central Park Zoo, so we took a little walk through Central Park to get there.  The Children's Zoo is mostly a petting zoo of farm animals, which I thought Logan would love.  However, he strangely didn't want to pet or feed (or get remotely close to) the goats or sheep in the Children's Zoo, but was more than happy to pet the statues of the animals.   Heather and I, as good Kappas of course, posed with the sheep!  

Since we were basically doing the "what to do with kids in NYC" tour of Central Park (even though 5 of the 6 of us were adults), our next stop was the Central Park Carousel, which was surprisingly difficult to find for us and included us walking in the completely wrong direction following what we thought was calliope music, but instead turned out to be street performers in the park.  Ooops.

We did find the carousel though, which was a big hit with our groups' kid and adults, who also took a ride!


By then we were getting hungry again, so grabbing NYC hot dogs in the park happened (pizza - check, awesome Italian food - check, bagel with lox - check, hot dog stand - check. We were doing a great job of eating our way through NY).  While eating our hot dogs, we headed in the direction of one of my FAVORITE places in New York.  Strawberry Fields.  Even though I've been there before ...

Spring Break 2001...Why don't I have that hat anymore?

...it was absolutely necessary to pay homage to John Lennon again.  Besides, LOGAN hadn't been there before, nor had mom, Randy, or Heather.






Right after I snapped that picture of Logan, he got super cranky, and then just passed out.  I like to think that it was John Lennon's ghost that sang him off to dreamland, but it was likely just pure exhaustion.

And I'd love to say that we left Central Park, hopped on the subway, and then got to our cars to head to dinner.  But that wouldn't be a very good story, would it?  Nah...traveling has to have some sort of excitement, right?  Right.  So we headed back to where the cars were parked and well...they were not there.  And we weren't lost, it was definitely the right street and there definitely were NO cars parked there anymore.  And then we saw the sign.  No standing 4pm-7pm.  Well FUCK - 5 adults missed that sign in the morning when we parked.  It was 6pm.  Both our rental cars got towed.  And we had no clue where to.  And didn't really know the license plate numbers or anything (well until we noticed that one of the three numbers on the key fob HAD to be the plate number).  Iris was really the rockstar here since she's the one that tracked down the cars with very little help from the doorman at her Aunt's building and the ridiculously complicated NYPD phone system for tracking down where a towed car goes.  Anyway, after several phone calls and lots of waiting, we finally found out where the cars were...and (drumroll, please)  they were in Maspeth.  We had a location and an address!  Oh wait, that intonation in Iris' voice when she said, "Maspeth" didn't sound so good.  Yep, Maspeth was not conveniently located from where we were.  Oh, and now nearly everyone's phones were dead and the chargers were (another drumroll, please) IN THE CARS.  How none of us went batshit crazy at that point, I will never know.  Next I knew, I was about to learn how to hail a cab with Iris while Logan, my mom, Randy, & Heather found some food.  This was supposed to be easy because, "cabs drive by on this road all the time".  All the time, but not when we need them AT ALL.  And apparently hailing a cab in this part of Queens involves waving ones arms around like a crazy person and jumping into oncoming traffic to get them to stop.  We FINALLY got one, and because at this point the universe hates us, the taxi doesn't take credit cards and we BARELY have enough cash between the two of us to get us to the impound lot.  We get there and wow, is it in a sketchy part of town, under an overpass and everything!

Photo credit: Iris Goldfeder

We get in and they take our info and they tell us that we have to get the rental car agreements.  Well shit...those are in the cars (of course - that's where they're SUPPOSED to be).  So we get sent out to the nice security officer to get driven to our vehicles and get our paperwork out and then driven back. Where we waited some more (and amused ourselves taking a few pictures) until we got called up.  We were being nice and friendly with the cashier lady and she managed to get distracted and got our paperwork all kinds of screwed up with each others AND with someone else's, and then she couldn't find our licenses for a while in the mess, and then we find out that it was this woman's first week on the job.

See all those stamps?  That's because she was using the
wrong fucking stamp on top of everything else!

And at this point, I think we were probably both twitching from the uncontrollable urge to laugh (because what else COULD we do at this point), and from the want to make a lot of noise about the level of incompetence.  But being in there, we sort of saw that things could be a whole lot worse, because some people were definitely not getting there cars back that day, and whether that was their own dumb faults or not, that definitely sucks.

Photo credit: Iris Goldfeder

Eventually ($185 poorer from paying the impound redemption fee) we got our cars back only to find the $115 parking tickets affixed to the windshields.  Most.expensive.parking.spot.EVER.

But not all was lost, because I definitely got some good bonding time with Iris!  And I got to do some more NYC-style driving to follow Iris back to her Aunt's to the rest of our group, where Logan was keeping himself busy causing noise complaints from the downstairs neighbors by repeatedly dropping his toys and running around on the hard wood floors.

And THAT, Ladies & Gentlemen is how we added a taxi, a police car, and a tow truck to our tour of NYC transportation (well WE didn't get to ride in a tow truck, but our cars did, so...).



 More pictures here.