Hard work = Trips to see Friends!

One of the perks of academia is that if you are lucky enough to find time to do research, you can sometimes find conferences near your friends across the country. Sometimes if you look really hard and decide that you're a workaholic, then you can find two.

In my job however, we can only get significant funding toward travel if we are presenting something - so this year I submitted abstracts for two separate conferences and I had a student submit an abstract as well. I basically wanted to ensure that I got to go somewhere to see my friends this year. I really only expected one of the three abstracts to get accepted, but apparently, I'm awesome and all three did. This is why I've been so busy this March! So we had quite the travel itinerary to fit in visiting with friends, 3 conference presentations (one of which was my student's presentation, and involved my guidance of course), and of course keeping RJ on a reasonable schedule.

The first conference was the International Association of Laboratory and University Affiliated Schools (NALS) in Providence, RI.

And the second conference (immediately following the first) was the Conference on Human Development in Indianapolis, IN.

The timing of these conferences were also good in that they were the week following spring break and Caesar Chavez day (March 31). This meant that since I'd have to miss the whole week of classes anyway because of the conferences, we could leave early to make sure that we had a weekend to visit with our friends, who we really really really miss!

Here was our Itinerary:
Friday March 28 - Fly to Boston (get delayed at JFK and get to Jeremy & Sharona's around 11 or so - instead of 9 or so, vow never to fly through JFK again since we haven't NOT been significantly delayed there)

Saturday March 29 - Heather & Steve hosted the "Midget Party" so that RJ could meet all his little friends and we could catch up with our friends and note how our conversations have changed since becoming parents. RJ was very excited to see all the other babies and even got to borrow his buddy Jace's crib for a nap and high chair for dinner. As you can see, the two were fast friends!

Sunday March 30: We spent some time teaching RJ about big kid toys at Uncle Sully's place. He was particularly fond of the stressball-esque brain and Sully's streamer.


He was not as fond of Shaun's dancing turtles - only the one that looked like a fraggle didn't scare him.
We also went for a walk with Lilia and Jeremy to visit with Jordi & Jen (who as of last night was in labor!). RJ got to give a cloth diaper demonstration for Jordi & Jen and meet their cats!

Monday March 31: We went to Brandeis to show off RJ. He was a big hit! We then met up with Michele in Allston and met up with more friends (Craig, Alyssa, Brian, Otte, Eva, Michele, and Galen) in Harvard Square.

Tuesday April 1: Grammie Carola Day! My mom flew in from Buffalo for a day (it's a lot easier to come to Boston than San Francisco for a day)! We went to brunch, then for tea at the Boston Public Library, where we also spent some time playing in the children's library. After driving Grammie to the airport, we drove down to Providence and checked into our hotel, then joined Koos, Stef, & Xander for dinner, and then I worked with my student on her presentation when we got back.
Wednesday April 2: NALS Conference Day 1. Myra presented her project and received lots of good feedback about her project. RJ got to meet my undergraduate honors thesis advisor, Sharon Carver. We drove around the state of RI looking for Rhode Island College (where the conference was being held) and then Lance and RJ drove around the state again looking for Koos & Stef's again. After the conference, Josh, Rachel, and Zach had dinner with us and Koos, Stef, & Xander.

Thursday April 3: NALS Conference Day 2. I presented my research, and actually had a great time doing so! I got some great feedback about it as well. Then RJ had lunch with Stef and Xander, while Lance met with Koos and his colleagues about a possible project. We spent the evening with Koos, Stef, & Xander. RJ has his first diarrhea poo (yuck), which we originally thought was teething related because shortly after his poo, we noticed that his second tooth had cut through! He now has his two bottom middle teeth!

Friday April 4: NALS Conference Day 3. Myra and I went to the conference and then Lance and I spent the afternoon with Stef and Xander before heading to the Providence airport. We were delayed for a bit there, and then got ridiculously delayed at Dulles on our way to Indianapolis. We didn't reach the hotel until almost 3 am. At least we didn't have to pay for a rental car because they were closed by the time we landed and we took a cab instead (which ended up being cheaper anyway). As it turns out, cabs have the latch system, so the car seat was no big deal.

Saturday April 5: CHD Day 2 (Day 1 was Friday, but I did not attend because I was still at the NALS conference). Lance, RJ, & I had lunch with Joe, my graduate school advisor. Then I presented my poster, and we were picked up by Heather and Iris. Iris made us a wonderful pot roast for dinner that night!
We spent the rest of the weekend visiting with them and their dog Gabby. RJ loved Gabby and of course, Gabby's toys, including her rawhide stick! Don't worry, we didn't let him chew on it!

Sunday April 6: We spent the day with Heather, Iris, & Gabby and then headed to the airport to start our return trip home.

*Note* Due to our crazy schedule, we repeatedly forgot the camera or remembered it, but forgot to take pictures. So, if you have any photos from our trip and haven't already posted them somewhere, please send them our way!!! With that said, you'll notice that we used one of Heather & Steve's photos here. Just wanted to give credit where credit was due.

Be True to Your School

RJ & Momma in their matching Child Development Center at CSU Stanislaus T-shirts. RJ is finally big enough to fit in the smallest t-shirt they made (size 12 mos.)!!

In search of the perfect sippy

We have just started giving RJ a sippy cup with water. He doesn't really need water and shouldn't have more than 4 oz. a day (the bulk of his liquid intake should come from breast milk still), but we wanted to get him used to a sippy cup and he likes to take sips of water during his meals. More than anything else, he loves to chew on the spout. We currently have just one (Born Free's Trainer Cup) which RJ seems to enjoy, as pictured here.
I want to try out other sippy cups as well, since the Born Free does leak a little and it is plastic. I never thought that I would put so much time and energy into searching for a sippy cup (or toys or plates/bowls).

Why is this such a production? Well, recent studies show that many plastics leach toxic chemicals into our food, more so when the plastic is heated. These chemicals are estrogenergic, meaning that they mimic the effects of estrogen. Right now the biggest worry are the chemicals Bisphenol-A (BPA) and phlalates - but with plastic, I'm sure that time will only show that all the Bisphenol-A free, phlalate free plastics have some other sort of toxic chemical leaching into our food and drink. The sad part is even baby product companies are not responsible enough to do this - bottles made by Avent & Dr. Brown among others are not BPA-free. Gerber even puts their organic food line into BPA leaching plastic. I bought Gerber Organic once, but I won't anymore since I learned that their packaging can leach BPA - I'm sticking to buying Earth's Best and O Organics (which comes in the traditional glass jars) for the baby food that I don't make myself. I made sure that the bottles we use for breast milk(All Medela products are BPA-free) and the Born Free Trainer Cup are on the current safe list , but the more I think about it, the more I want to avoid plastic as much as possible. So that leaves Stainless Steel for drink ware since giving a toddler glass is just silly.

I agonize over this because I want to give RJ the very best start in life. After all, I know that in no time he'll be trading his organic cookies for a twinkie or some equally horrible substance for his body, and there won't be much that I can do to prevent it unless I want him to become known as the bubble boy at school. So, while I can control things, I want to make sure that we give him the safest, most pure, and most environmentally conscious environment that we can. Hopefully some of it will stick!

I'm trying to decide between a few sippy cups at the moment. I could get a second Born Free, but I'd like a non-plastic option because I think they're safer.

Here are my options so far based on multiple reviews from http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/ and http://zrecs.blogspot.com/. I don't know these people or anything, but they gave detailed reviews of safe sippy cups.

The Safe Sippy $14.95

Thermos Foogo $14.99

Kleen Kanteen $16.99


I'm leaning toward the Kleen Kanteen because it converts from a sippy to a sports bottle top, so it doesn't have to be retired in a few years! I'm even thinking of getting the adult version for Lance and I. What do you think? We welcome your knowledge about safe products for children.

RJ's Gated Community...

Ever since RJ went mobile, life has been a little more challenging. His need for interactive play is only matched by his curiosity for all things dangerous. We decided we needed a solution for containing the little one so that we could do things like clean the house. The additional challenge was that we have an open floor plan, with our kitchen and family room being one in the same. Also, our laptops with their assorted cords are pretty much always around in the family room. So clearly a regular old baby gate was just not going to cut it.




We purchased a North States Superyard XT Gate Play Yard from Amazon for $60. Perhaps the best investment ever, as we can just put RJ in his baby prison "fun zone" to play while not be too worried about him hurting himself. In fact, he's enjoying having the "wall" to cruise around on.




And, as you can see, Boca likes the "cat vs baby" cage matches too.

A Picture is Worth 1000 Words

We've been posting some pictures, but we've been pretty slack in posting the many candids we have of RJ. My intention was to post a monthly update with the pictures from that month, but it hasn't happened since RJ was 4 months old and he's now almost 9 months old. So here we present links to the monthly picture folders (just click on the pictures to get to the rest).

RJ during his 5th Month (4 -5 mos old)

6th Month (5-6 mos. old)

7th Month (6-7 mos. old)

8th Month (7-8 mos. old)

































9th Month (8-9 mos. old)

And my first word is....

boob.

Just one more piece of evidence that RJ is still a big fan of his milk source. On Sunday night, after RJ was finished nursing, he looked up at me, then looked at my boob (which I had not put away yet), grabbed hold of the nipple and with a very deliberate, determined look, said, "b b ba boob".

RJ has many sounds in his repertoire. His most frequent vocalization for just about anything is "dah, dah" or "daht daht" He has also said, "bahbahbah" "bleh", "hah", "arr", "ttt", "puh" and my personal favorite, "mommommommom" or "mommy". There are also some sounds that he babbles that are pretty much gibberish.

He also seems to occasionally match his vocalizations with the referents. This is something babies typically start to do around 10 months or so. First words typically occur around a baby's first birthday. To "count" as a first word, the vocalization has to be linked to the word's referent - so if RJ said "ball" it would have to be in reference to a ball.

For example, RJ says "dah dah" all the time, not just when he sees daddy or wants daddy (although one could argue that throughout the day he's asking me "where's daddy?" by vocalizing), so it's a pretty safe bet that RJ is not totally linking dahdah with daddy the person. However, he has only used the mommommommom vocalization at times when he sees me or wants me to appear, so he *might* be starting to link the sound to me. Plus just this week, in his high chair, he looked straight at me, said, "mommommommom" and grinned ear to ear, looking all proud of himself (an emotion that he won't truly be capable of for another 9 months at least). He's also looked at Boca and said, "bah bah" and "at at". These all *could* have been coincidences, but as with the "mom" example, he seemed to be rather deliberate. Of course, I could be having mommy-vision with all of this as well!

There is wide variation though, so even though RJ appears to be developing these language skills a little early, he's certainly not a prodigy. His doctor was impressed with his vocals and said that he'll definitely be speaking soon. It's funny that I lectured on Language Development in my Human Development class just this week!

What we do know is that he understands who is who. For example, regardless of who says, "Where's Momma?", RJ will look at me, and in response to, "Where's Daddy?", RJ will look at Lance. So, he clearly knows our names, even if he's not always using them vocally, which is the normal progression of language development.

Feverish...

On the weekend of the first of March
Daddy had the flu
Not too much later in the week
RJ seemed to have it too.
Fevers, chills, and stuffy nose,
So miserable in truth,
But at the end of March the sixth,
He was sporting his first sharp tooth!

How can you have any pudding...

Earlier this week we introduced turkey into our Berkeley boy's diet. He kind of gagged and showed general distaste for it. I don't know if it was the texture or that it smelled like cat food, but on the second try he ate it down just fine when we mixed a little bit with his cereal. I guess he's not vegetarian after all.



If only he had a tooth to chew with.

RJ Goes to Rock City

We live less than an hour away from Mount Diablo State Park, which is home to a 3,849 ft. summit. We have been saying that we'd go see it as it is claimed to be a great view of the bay area on a clear day. One way or another, something always seemed to get in our way of going, despite it's closeness. But last weekend with the weather being so nice, we FINALLY ventured out with RJ in tow.


We drove up to Rock City, with plans for continuing on to the summit after lunch. But we decided to stay in Rock City and explore after realizing that the summit was farther away than we thought.

So we have yet to see the spectacular view, although even from Rock City's lower elevation, we got some pretty pictures AND RJ got introduced to one of Momma's favorite pastimes! Rock climbing classes, here we come!

Thank You Mystery Gift Giver

RJ recently got a package in the mail with an adorable Steelers onesie and a plush football blankie. The return address was the manufacturers and there was no note inside.

As you can see, he's really enjoying his new toy, but doesn't know who to say "thank you" to. You can remain anonymous if you wish, we just wanted to be able to say thank you!

Maniacal Giggle Fest

Watch the video to see what RJ's favorite toy is. If only we knew what jokes were being exchanged!

The Mortgage Mess: Part 2 Rent or Buy...

We don't want to be homeless, so we need to figure out where to live next. Have any advice or insights to add to my analysis? We know a lot of homeowners, so if we're missing something you'll have to set us straight as we try to figure things out.

Option 1: Rent

We could just find another place to rent. Taking a look at craigslist there are places available in Mountain House and Livermore. We could also look at Tracy, CA the next town to the east and live next door to MC Hammer but Tracy smells like cow poo.

It is off-season for finding rentals, but with the number of foreclosures displacing people it is likely the rental market supply will continue to shrink. The homes available for rent comparable to what we're in now seem to be a couple hundred dollars more each month than what we're paying. Plus we have the expense of hiring movers and commitment to a one year lease to consider. We've been month-to-month since last August.

One problem I have with rents is it is unclear whether the rent increase is due to increased mortgage expenses as rates reset or due to increased demand. I have been trying to track the number of listings on craigslist to see how quickly they are being scooped up. There are at least two rentals that have been available for the past 10 days.

Option 2: Buy

We are pretty confident we're not going to be in California for 30 years, but we still may be here long enough to justify buying a place. In Mountain House and towns farther east real estate has dropped hundreds of thousands in the past year and a half. Livermore and the Bay Area have softened some but are not yet affordable with a traditional mortgage. We are not far from Stockton where 1 in 6 homes is vacant and considered the epicenter of the foreclosure crisis. Is there opportunity here?

The $600k home I mentioned in the last post was ridiculous and didn't make sense. I dug up some numbers to try to figure out what was going on.

Historical Pricing Trends

Based on data from the US Census Bureau there is median house prices collected since 1940, both nationally and by state. In 1940 the median price in California was $3527, in 1950 it was $9564, and by 2000 $211,500. The best decade, 1970 - 1980 saw a 13% increase in house value year over year, and the worst decade 1980-1990 saw an average increase of less than 1% per year. Overall from 1940 through 2000 the average was around 7% per year housing appreciation in California. If you project that out to 2008, the median price of a house in California would be around $365,050.

Income-to-Home Ratio

Ok, what about income trends. I only found California data for 1990 ($33k) and 2000 ($47k). With those median household income values, we find the median price of a house being 4.5 - 5.5 times income. With the most recent data I've seen (2006) for our area, the median household income is around $75k. That projects to a house valued around $375k.

Affordable for Income

Based on income above, a traditional loan would recommend you spend no more than 30% of income on housing. Based on rates at 5.75% that projects out to an affordable home for the area to be around $330k not counting property taxes or homeowners into the equation as 40% seems generally common practice.

So, based on that data I'd expect half the homes to be priced under $350k. They're still not there yet.

Market Conditions

In Mountain House as of 01/08/2008 there were 87 active homes for sale with 7 pending sales and 2 homes sold in the last 30 days. Pulling data from trulia it looks like there were 12 homes sold in Mountain House in January ranging in price from $340k to $665k. Looking at MLS data there are 160 3+ bedroom, 2+ bathroom homes for sale in the 95391 area code. In just Mountain House as of Feb 9 there are 79 homes for sale with a high at $819k and a low of $299k and median asking price of $445k.

The economic fortunetellers are predicting home price declines potentially for the next few years. Back in October Goldman Sachs did an analysis where they concluded:

"Our house price model indicates that Californian homes are 35-40% above the price range implied by current and forecast economic conditions... economic conditions support prices between $350-$380k; material price declines are likely, in our view."

Rent vs. Buy

Given the current rental and selling conditions, is it worth it for us to buy? I put together a spreadsheet long ago that has evolved into a little python script for performing a price sensitivity analysis to figure out when to buy.

Let's take a $300,000 house as an example and make some assumptions for down payment (20%), income tax (25%), property tax (1.25%), and insurance (1%). The mortgage payment would be $1400 for a total monthly cost of $1963 with taxes and insurance.

After one year:

• remaining principal: $236,912
• home equity growth: $3,087
• tax benefit: $4,573
• property taxes: $3,750
• homeowners insurance: $3,000

If we took one of the rentals at $1750 and an investment savings rate of around 4% we would increase our savings by $1,876 in interest alone for the year and put $4,433 more in savings by avoiding property taxes and homeowners insurance.

In a flat market on that $300k house, rent would need to go up to $1845 to make the costs of homeownership balance the benefit. Then it would require a 6% commission or $18k to get out of the home. That means the house would need to appreciate at least 1% a year, or 5% overall to make up the cost of selling if we were to leave in 5 years.

This model is simple and does not account for maintenance costs and I think long term appreciation in home value beyond 1% a year is reasonable -- though that was the case throughout the 1980's as mentioned above. Buying would lock in the cost of rent that could continue to rise. Anything else I'm missing?

We went to take a look at some foreclosures last weekend so I'll talk more about that in the next post.

If you made this far -- enjoy Hammer time:

Negative Reinforcement for the Teenage Years

We're amused by the funny face that RJ makes when he's dropping a load in his diaper. This is quite convenient because if we see poo face, we can change his diaper right away instead of waiting for him to start smelling. We're hoping that poo face will come in handy when it comes time to potty train as well.

RJ has been making poo face for quite some time now, but we've only now gotten it on video. The kid seems to poop when he's eating - I guess he needs to make room for more.


If nothing else, this movie might help us in the teenage years. For example, "Oh, you don't want to help mom fold your laundry? Well, I guess we'll just have to show Vicki the poo face video next time she's over to 'do homework' with you." A little negative reinforcement never hurt anyone!

(BTW for those who want a little psychology fun fact, negative reinforcement is not the same thing as punishment. It is the reinforcement of a desirable behavior by removing an undesirable consequence. So not showing the video {removing the undesirable consequence} is supposed to keep RJ doing the desirable behavior {helping fold his laundry}. It's not quite as effective as positive reinforcement of behavior, but more effective than punishment.)

Peekaboo...I see you!

When we're dressing RJ we usually say the requisite, "Where's RJ??" when his head is still in his clothes and then, "There he is!!" when his head pops out. It appears that he enjoys this game of peekaboo and now engages us in the game by utilizing his bib during meals.



Not only is this the cutest thing EVER, but it's also a sign that he's figured out object permanence. Object permanence is the understanding that things exist even when they are not in sight. Jean Piaget believed that babies don't get object permanence before 8 or 9 months, but more recent studies (mostly conducted by Baillergeon and colleagues) show that babies as young as 3 months old can understand that hidden objects exist, even though they're still unable to physically search for hidden objects. The peekaboo video is an excellent portrayal of this very amusing milestone, as is this picture of RJ (at 5 mos.) peeking around the edge of the book to see me!

Yet another hat to wear....

So not only am I a mommy, a wife, and a professor; but I am also going to be the Acting Director of the Child Development Center on campus (a.k.a. RJ's school) while the director is on maternity leave. I'm barely juggling my other responsibilities, but in a moment of ambition and dreaming, and apparent insanity, I volunteered to take this on without being asked. Why?

First, it is exactly the type of job that I've wanted since I was an undergrad. My honors thesis advisor, Dr. Sharon Carver was the director of The Children's School at Carnegie Mellon, in addition to her appointment as a Professor in the Psychology Department, for which the school was a laboratory. The Children's School was the laboratory preschool and kindergarten on campus in the Margaret Morrison building where I worked as a work study student during my undergrad years. I loved that she could run the school and get to teach at the college level. Her research was based on the learning environment - and it was her research that got me interested in pursuing a research-based PhD rather than a clinical PhD.

Second, I was really interested in helping Jennifer (the current, very pregnant director of RJ's school) improve the Child Development Center in terms of its thematic curriculum (one of my research interests) and making the school easier to conduct research in.

and Third, who wouldn't want to be in charge of her son's school?

I saw Jennifer's pregnancy and maternity leave as an opportunity to get a taste of what my "dream job" was like for a semester, without making the long-term commitment. So in addition to teaching two classes (Human Development I and Early Social & Emotional Development), I will also be taking over as director when Jennifer goes into labor or the first week in April, whichever comes first! Starting on Wednesday (the first week of the Spring Semester), I will be transitioning in as she is transitioning out.

Stay tuned for more thoughts as my experience unfolds... hopefully I'll have time to blog!

Eat Your Vegetables...

"When I was young, parents encouraged their kids to eat their vegetables by saying, 'People in India are starving.' This is the sort of parenting that teaches children values, such as stupidity. To this day, when I think about people who are starving, I eat a little extra. I think it helps." --Scott Adams

January was a month of food exploration. Our first week back from the holidays we started the pattern of oatmeal at 6am for breakfast, rice cereal at noon for lunch, and multigrain cereal for dinner at 6pm. He's eating three heaping tablespoons mixed with freshly pumped breast milk. We've gradually been introducing vegetables and fruits as well to go along with his cereal -- once a week at first but now pretty much one new one every 3-4 days. He eats about 1/2 jar (~2 oz.) each serving.

He is getting a fruit with breakfast and vegetables with lunch and dinner. So far we've introduced in this order:

* Peas
* Bananas
* Sweet Potatoes
* Apples
* Avocado
* Pears
* Carrots
* Green Beans
* Butternut Squash

We have started making our own avocados, sweet potatoes, bananas, butternut squash, and peas with a Food Mill that we ordered from amazon. We mill the food, blend it with liquid if necessary, and then put it in ice cube trays to have serving size portions for later.

Squash has been by far the easiest baby food to make. The consistency was just perfect. Next week he will try beans and then mango.

The Mortgage Mess: Part 1...

We are renting a 2000+ sq ft house in Mountain House,CA which was intended as a foothold to get to know the areas before deciding where we wanted to settle down. We checked out new construction in Livermore last year where they wanted over $600,000 for a condo. We looked at the numbers and then at the Shea representative and questioned how anybody can afford this. If you haven't been following the news the past six months -- the answer is not many people could.

This past Sunday Carolyn Said in the SF Chronicle reports:

The lending debacle, which wiped out hundreds of billions on Wall Street, made the stock market tank, triggered hundreds of thousands of foreclosures and led the nation to the brink of recession, may be the biggest financial mess of all time.

According to the San Jose Mercury News:

Some 316,769 California borrows received subprime loans in 2006, the study said. The foundation said that in 2006, more than 90 percent of subprime mortgages in California were adjustable-rate mortgages and the "dominant type" of subprime loan was one that reset in two years. In 2006 there were 12,672 foreclosures in California according to DataQuick Information Systems. In 2007 there were 84,375, an increase of 565.8 percent.

The Tracy Press reports on Mountain House that there have been

50 * homes that have fallen into some stage of foreclosure in the past six months

There are only around 2000 rooftops in Mountain House.

The other day we got a business card in the door. Written on the back was the owners name with a note "I'd like to help you with your situation". The other side of the card identified it was from a risk mitigation real estate company. I called up the property manager who was able to confirm that the home we are renting has had a first notice of default.

What we know so far:

• The owner owns more than one property in foreclosure
• The owner stopped paying the mortgage, but the property management company informed them they must put our rent toward the mortgage or face criminal penalties
• It usually takes a minimum of 120 days to reach the point of foreclosure
  
• The property management company has our deposit so the owners can't run away with it
• Banks can only have some percentage of homes in foreclosure at a time or risk losing access to federal funds -- so we are probably in a queue of homes until the bank can get to it so we might have as long as 6 months
  
• We haven't received it in writing yet, but are being given 60 day notice from the owners, after which we can stay as long as we pay rent up until the bank tells us to get out, and we can leave at will without giving notice
  
• The bank must give us at least 30 days, but we might be able to argue for 60 days since we've lived in the house for more than a year

This means we need to find RJ a new bedroom sooner than we had anticipated. We have started weighing our options which we'll discuss in the next post.

I like to move it, move it...

I think the title says it all. We've achieved independent forward motion in the form of the army crawl! He's been moving around in circles on his stomach for a couple of months now, but last Sunday (1/27) he just took off across the living room. He also enjoys assisted "walking" and is generally happiest when standing up.













Enjoy the video - after all, a picture is worth a thousand words.

RJ and his Girlfriends...

During the week, RJ goes to school where he is the youngest in a classroom that goes up to 2.5 years. Part of his morning routine includes sitting on a couch where his two girlfriends join him. He is around four and a half months in this first picture:



He continued his flirtatious ways over the holidays too:


He seems to like older women.

For crying out loud...

For the love of all that is holy, where are those God damn gosh darn teeth already?

Screw you Darwin!

Enter Sandman...

For the first six months we were concerned with RJ's weight gain. His pediatrician recommended we continue to feed him on demand, never going more than five hours without a feed. Combined with pumping breast milk before bed and first thing in the morning -- for the past six months we were operating on six hours of sleep a night with one or two wake up calls. We haven't slept this poorly since college and that takes a toll.


We didn't really intend to institute co-sleeping so long, but when you are sleep deprived, and have a son who fights sleep with all his might, you will do anything to get that motor boatin' son of a bitch to go back to sleep. After his six month checkup in December though, we were back on the weight chart and had doubled his birth weight. That meant with the weight challenge met, we prioritized sleep, specifically sleeping without the parental units, as the next goal.

This is where some expectations were a little misguided. Like eating, I thought sleep would come naturally -- but on the contrary, there are books, many books about different methods for coaxing a screaming infant into blissful slumber. There is the "cry-it-out" school, the "Ferberizing" approach, and the "Gentle" method. This third approach sounded appealing and our pediatrician recommended reading Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West. The library had a copy so it became tops on our holiday reading list.

The basics of it are:

• go to bed earlier, between 7 and 8pm is recommended
  
• establish a regular and consistent night time routine of bath, quiet play, storytime, nursing, etc.
• two or three regular naps during the day is essential to avoid getting overtired
• observe the signals of the sleep window such as rubbing eyes, laying head down, fussiness, red or baggy eyes, and don't wait too long before the second wind kicks in and the window slams shut
  
• avoid sleep crutches like pacifier, picking him up, driving, stroller walks, bouncing, etc.
• provide a lovey, or attachment object, for him to hug (we chose Morgan the flying squirrel for him at first, but he has gotten himself much more attached to carrot and green bean - so he sleeps with one of the two vegetables and Morgan)
  
• parental consistency means not caving in to the screams
• stay in the room and calm and soothe to help baby learn to fall asleep
• establish a regular and consistent wake up time and routine, ideally after 6am, and make it dramatic to symbolize the transition to starting a new day
  

The book is full of examples of couples who in a few days had to deal with 15-20 minutes of crying but then could soothe their baby to sleep. There really wasn't any guidance for what to do when the child is inconsolable and has the stamina to go longer than an hour when his goal (being held by us) was so clearly within his reach if he could only figure out how to squeeze his head through the rails of the crib. "Hey, I've fit through tighter spaces" must have been his rationale for continuing to bang his head against the side of the crib.

We dragged the mattress from our guest bedroom in and prepared for a few all nighters. We ended the stay in the room strategy after a few nights though because it didn't seem effective in calming him down when we were in view. It felt cruel to both him and us.

We revised our method and started trending closer to a Ferberizing approach where we would check on him and remind him to go to sleep but otherwise let him cry in his room. The first night involved almost three hours of crying before he finally gave up. Over the first week it took less and less time for him to recognize that he wasn't going to win the sleep war.

On January 19th, 2008, RJ's seven-month birthday, we popped open the champagne we bought for his birth (finally!) and celebrated three consecutive nights going to bed without a fuss and sleeping straight through until morning. He slept for ten hours allowing us to get a full eight consecutive hours. Yay!

He's still not a perfect little sleeper. There are some nights where he still cries a little before falling asleep and a few mornings where he is up a little early -- but mostly this seems to be during fits of teething and when the Tylenol wears off.

RJ's First Christmas

This year RJ was introduced to the joys of Christmas. The good food, the sharing of family stories (and colds), and of course the presents.

We were fortunate this year to have an extended period of time to visit back East. DreamWorks closed the office between Christmas and New Years again this year and with paid family leave I transformed 3 vacation days into 16 paid days off. A very hectic fall semester came to a close and left a few weeks before winter term starts back up in January. We were cleared for travel.

We've had some crazy trips in the past, including 8 airplanes in 11 days while traveling in Australia/New Zealand, but this was probably one of the most difficult trips we've had. The trip down to Hollywood wasn't bad and deceived us into thinking travel with baby was easy, but a weekend getaway doesn't scale well when applied to a two week trip for the holidays. Fortunately, we had those 16 days, and an extra 3 days prior to departure to get things settled at home while packing.

The cruel joke that is teething was an issue from the very first day. While we were flying RJ started feeling a little warm to the touch. He was very lethargic and just slept the whole trip. We flew into Pittsburgh and after getting lost due to construction, yes, we got lost in Pittsburgh -- and it would happen a few more times -- we made it to Uncle Jim and Aunt Helen's sometime after midnight. RJ was running a little fever - 102.1, and while we still had some Christmas shopping to do, we spent the first day and a half never leaving the house doped up on Tylenol. RJ who had been a pretty good cereal eater was refusing it, and was fussy and unhappy. The drool and other signs indicated that whether a coincidence or perhaps cabin pressure kick-started it, some teething was happening and his schedule was all out of whack.

We credit the breast milk and good genes to avoiding illness in RJ's first 6 months of life. Other than the surgery, he has been considered the healthiest one in his class. The teething soon turned into stuffiness as a cold settled in. The cold was a nuisance, but he did manage to avoid catching the pneumonia and ear infections of those around us.

Franklin Regional, Lance's high school, never had 5 or 10 year reunions but a grassroots effort resulted in a get together at a local restaraunt/bar in Murrysville. Uncle Jim, Aunt Helen, and Grandma D arrived and provided babysitting services. RJ may have given them some trouble with a bit of separation anxiety, but it allowed Mommy and Daddy to slip away for a little while to go to the party. It was very well attended but had two unfortunate issues: Pennsylvania still allows smoking indoors (heathens) and Cheryl started coming down with a cold; aches, chills, sore throat, and a cough. This cold persisted for both Cheryl and RJ throughout the remainder of our holiday. There was a 3 and a half day stretch where we didn't leave the house in Buffalo trying to get everyone healthy again.


Despite the cold, RJ started adjusting to the new environments and resumed his normal social and charming self. We celebrated Christmas early in Pittsburgh, drove up to Buffalo Christmas Eve for Wigilia. Then there was Christmas morning at Grammie Carola's, and a late Christmas when Luke and Amy got to Buffalo, and yet another Christmas with Cheryl's father. Like all babies at this age, the paper ripping and eating was seemingly more exciting than the presents inside. He certainly had a lot of opportunities spread out over the week to open, and tried to help mommy and daddy, Grammie and cousins open theirs too.

It was nice that RJ got to interact with his many cousins and relatives. One of my favorite comments from Christmas was my cousin Sarah (who's 12) saying that she wanted one of RJ's toys for herself because baby toys were so much fun. So RJ wasn't the only one enjoying his toys!
For New Years we stayed in with Uncle Luke, Aunt Amy and RJ even got to kiss Grammie Carola at midnight.

Heading home was no easier. We had to drive through an Erie blizzard to get back to Pittsburgh on New Years day. We decided to upgrade a suitcase while in Buffalo, buying the 27" Swiss brand bag so our car was pretty full and uncomfortable for the drive. We made it though and when we checked our 3 bags in weighing 49 pounds a piece we were anxious to get home and out of the cold. Our return flight was supposed to have one stop, but they changed the flights on us without warning. We were awarded with an extra stopover in Phoenix. When you are carrying on two backpacks, two laptops, a baby, a baby seat and stroller -- the last thing you want to do is get on and off the plane 3 times. This is likely what led to our car seat handle being broken and losing a wallet. This was not a good start to 2008, but after a week of adjusting back home life was getting back to normal.

Check out more Christmas Pictures here.

Sitting and Mimicking Rock Stars

RJ has been developing like mad the last couple of weeks. He's clearly teething, as evidenced by the fountain of drool spewing from his mouth (and crankiness). No pearly whites yet, but we're sure they're coming soon!

What's even more exciting is his ability to sit all by himself (for pretty long too - at least 10 minutes when he wants to) and make noises that sound more and more like words and conversation.

This video is particularly cute - you can see that he's mimicking the intonation of the phrase and doing a good job sitting up. Just wait til you hear what he "says".

Shrek the Halls...

Tonight on ABC at 8pm you can watch Shrek the Halls, our holiday special. Unfortunately due to the tv format my name won't be listed but I'll make it on the dvd.

It has been getting good reviews and of course includes the dronkeys.

I'm Thankful for Momma's Boobies

You might say that Thanksgiving isn't too exciting for a 5 month old. After all, Thanksgiving is a holiday based on the gluttonous consumption of solid foods.



But we chose this Thanksgiving to introduce RJ to the wonderful world of solid foods. Rice Cereal certainly isn't Duck or Stuffing or Pumpkin Pie, but it's a start. Plus, since he's breastfed, he got all the Thanksgiving goodies reconstituted anyway.

Here is a video of his first "big boy" meal. Feeding a baby is never a clean and orderly undertaking, but I was actually impressed with the amount of cereal that made it to his tummy rather than his face or the bib or the tray. He seemed really ready for the experience.

How did we know he was ready? Well, the incessant reaching for our food and pouting when he didn't get it was a clue. For the last few weeks, he has been really interested in our food and his teachers reported that he was very interested in the other children's snacks. Interest is usually a good indicator that a child is developmentally ready for solids. He has also started teething. He drools and chews on everything (our thumbs, his toys, even his own feet). We haven't seen any pearly whites yet, but all signs point to them showing up sometime in the not-to-distant future. And he's been sitting more and more independently by the day, which is another prerequisite to eating solid food in the high chair. So all signs were pointing to solid foods, which our pediatrician had said that we could start when RJ showed interest. We originally had wanted to wait until he was 6 mos. old, which is the general recommendation of the AAP for exclusively breastfed babies, but we wanted to start before heading across the country for the holidays, so that we weren't introducing something new while traveling. Plus, he was so interested, that we figured starting slow, with only a little would be good for him.

More Thanksgiving Pics here:

Michele's Visit

The week before Thanksgiving, we had a much welcomed house guest! Michele (one of my favorite sorority sisters) was presenting at a conference in nearby Monterey and spent a few days with us and getting to know RJ.

We took RJ to our neighborhood park one afternoon and visited a Livermore winery on another.





On one of our days around town we went to Berkeley. We went to Bette's Ocean View for brunch and Kirala for dinner. Along the way RJ had a meal at the Berkeley Bowl Super Market and our most exciting adventure was a hunt for tree people. What are tree people you ask?

For those who haven't heard, here is an article on the latest developments to the story that has entertained us for a year now. UC Berkeley wants to build a new sports complex, but to do so required cutting down a couple trees. Being Berkeley, people have been living in the trees for the past year to protect them. If I was at Berkeley, I totally would've joined them! It looked like so much fun to camp out in a tree. It came up in the news again recently when somebody fell out of one as described on SFist:

"He was trying to get out of the tree, via a traverse line, to visit his poppa waiting down below. But it seems that he was not, in fact, on the line, and then took a nasty fall while trying to ride the non-existent traverse. Ouch. According to NBC 11, "Hill said although he does not want to place blame he believes the accident would not have happened if the university had not put up a fence around the grove." Oh, come now. One, if Hill hadn't been 40 feet up high in a tree to begin with, succumbing to the temptations of gravity, he wouldn't have fallen. Two, he "thought he was connected to a traverse line but he was mistaken." So? It's your fault, you sexy, klutzy bear."
As always clicking on the pictures leads you to more pictures in the album.