Funny Shit Kids Say: 2011 Edition

This is all the funny, sweet, or notable phrases we've recorded during 2011 (RJ aged 3.5 - 4.5, Logan aged 1-2)

• Jan 9 , 2011 - After (finally) unpacking my margarita classes, I (jokingly) say to Lance, "Maybe Logan's birthday party should be margarita themed". RJ replied, "But mom, Logan can't drink anything." Good point, RJ...thanks for pointing it out for me. 
• Feb 18, 2011 - RJ: "when you have a girl baby, she can wear it (the panda costume)". Me: "when are we having a girl baby? I'm not pregnant, RJ" RJ: "the day after Saturday"  
• Feb 25, 2011 - RJ: "When I grow up, I want to be the director of my school." Hmmm...I think RJ and I have similar goals. 
• March 4, 2011 - Me: "You're one of my favorite people". RJ: "I know Mom, but I wish you had a penis"  
• March 25, 2011 - Daddy: What is the most famous orca? RJ: Sham.....paigne. D: No not champaigne, RJ: Shampoo!  
• March 25, 2011 - Something I will never say no to. "Mommy, may I have more broccoli? I'm being an herbivore."  
• May 4, 2011 - RJ just informed me that he would start listening better when he turns 4. If that's the case, June cannot come quick enough.  
• May 7, 2011 - RJ informed me earlier that he wanted to get me a broom, worms, and snakes for Mothers Day, so tomorrow should be interesting...  
• May 26, 2011 - RJ: "Mom, where is my birthday [party]?" Me: "Where do you want your birthday party?" [STUPID MOMMY!!] RJ: "In Washington." [Where his friend Hayden just moved] Poor kid.  
• June 4, 2011 - First words out of RJs mouth this morning, "mommy, is Sully here?" Now in the car to go get him and RJ tells us, "I'm going to cover him in kisses!"
• June 11,2011 - We're on our way home from a great birthday party where RJ had a great time and he says, "I miss Sully." Not easily forgotten.  
• June 15, 2011 - RJ just asked for Mint Ice Cream Dinosaur Eggs to go with his T-rex sitting on a rock 3D cake. This kid really does think I'm super-mom, huh?  
• June 26, 2011 - RJ: "mojitos are good for adults." Mommy: "yes, yes they are." 
• June 29, 2011 - Just found four more apricots in the kids' pantry. This literally moments after answering RJs questions about how babies get in ones uterus. 
• July 3, 2011 - RJ: "I'm happy I got to pee in a bottle! It was my first time!"  
• July 17, 2011 - RJ upon seeing a Justin Bieber mylar balloon in a store, "Look, a pinata!!"  
• July 19, 2011 - RJ is making up songs, " looook at the happiness on his face. Heee's having a greeeeaaaat day. Oh helicopter you flyyyy so high." Might have to record this one.  
• July 28, 2011 - RJ: "I will find a girl who wants to be a mommy, spray sperm into her, then when the baby comes out I will protect it every day. And when I grow up people will call me Reed."
• ‎Jayson DeLancey: "Where is my Black Sweatshirt?" Me:"Hanging in the closet" Lance: "Oh, I didn't think to look there." 
• Sept 3, 2011 - ‎"RJ, are you going to tell Madeline about how you're going to marry Ashlan?" RJ: "No! Its special! A special secret!" Hmm guess I shouldn't have posted it on facebook then.  
• September 22, 2011 - Me: "Good Morning, Logan" (who was still in his crib). Logan: (Points to his behind) "Butt!" (Points to his front) "Penis!" Thanks for the anatomy lesson little one. 
• Sept 23, 2011 - RJ: "Mom? I think I'm smarter than any paleontologist around. They thought something was a horn and it wasn't. That's why I'm smarter." Yep, nothing wrong with his self esteem. 
• Sept 23, 2011 - RJ is on fire today with the quotes. Today during clean-up time (said in a perfect robot-voice): "I am a robot. I am not programmed to clean up. I get distracted easily during clean up time." I tried reprogramming Mr. Roboto but it was unsuccessful. I would hope that Jayson DeLancey would have better luck. However, he is also the one that taught RJ the phrase: "Does not compute".  
• October 9, 2011 - RJ: "Daddy, I want to go somewhere where robots serve dinner".  
• October 13, 2011 - RJ: "He sings like a girl" [pointing at Kurt from Glee].  
• Oct 15, 2011 - RJ just started singing "Freak Out". Then he exclaimed, "I'm copying Glee!" Oh how I love him.  
• Oct 23, 2011 - RJ: "I didn't like it when Puss lost his boots cuz then he was just the cat in the hat."  
• Oct 24, 2011 - RJ:"I did donkey kicks!" Coach Josh:"oh cool!" RJ: "At a wedding!"  
• Oct 25, 2011 - Me: "You must've been sleepy" RJ: "Mommy, I'm not a dwarf!"  
• Oct 25, 2011 - RJ likes to ask about our day when he gets home from preschool. Today, his response to me telling him that Logan used the potty all morning was, "I didn't know my brother could do that!"  
• Oct 28, 2011 - I have my work cut out for me with RJ. E.g., "I am going to marry Ashlan, Madeline, and Maddie so we can have lots of babies all together. Actually I need to have 10 so I need help with them all."   
• Oct 29, 2011 - Me:"RJ, how can you not like cheese?" RJ:"Because I am a sushi fan!" Logan:"Momma, sushi? SUSHI!" and we thought they'd like the stuffed crust pizza.  
• Nov 5, 2011 - Daddy: "The high is only 60 today" Mommy: "Oh that's cold" RJ: "That's like WINTER cold!" Oh our little California boy!  
• Nov 7, 2011 - Unintentional humor= Mommy : "please sit up and eat" (instead of hanging on me and hitting his head against my arm). RJ: "I love you so much I want to keep banging you"  
• Nov 8, 2011 - RJ: (screaming) "I need help calming down!" Logan: "in...out...in...out" RJ: " is Logan trying to get me to breath?" Wow Logan has been paying attention.  
• Nov 9, 2011 - Logan: "Daddy. penis." [points to mommy's mouth]. Hmm...never thought I'd have to say "That's not where Daddy's penis goes" to my 21 month old.  
• Nov 11, 2011 - RJs opinion of my coconut almond milk yogurt: "yuck. It tastes like twiddlebugs" good! More for me (and Logan). And...now I guess I know what a twiddlebug tastes like...delicious.
• Nov 18, 2011 - RJ: "ROAR!!!" Logan: "Arrrrgh Matey!" Dinosaur vs. Pirate? I have NO IDEA what they're playing right now. 
• Nov 23, 2011 -  RJ:" Logan, stop it! You're a sticky little mess; don't touch me!" (Logan was actually sticky from pomegranate jelly)
• Nov 28, 2011 -  RJ: (Randomly at dinner) "I'm thankful for my family. Even though its not turkey day anymore we can still be thankful for stuff. Being thankful is like liking stuff."
• Dec 10, 2011 -  RJ: "Mommy, I love you. And I love the tree. I'm going to marry the Christmas tree, but I'm not going to kiss it, I'm just going to hug it to get married to it. But when I grow up."
• Dec 24, 2011 -  "Mom, I like this Polish sushi!" (pickled herring for the uninitiated!)
• Dec 28, 2011 - (To daddy as he was ushered out of the room where I was playing Glee Karaoke): "Mommy sounds like Rachel"