You're a Wizard, RJ!

Photo Credit: Jennifer Esterly

As the age of 11 is time that young witches and wizards get their Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Acceptance Letters, it was fitting that we actually recycled a birthday party theme and threw a second Harry Potter Birthday Party for RJ.  The first Harry Potter Birthday was for RJ's 6th Birthday, and while in some ways, that one was more elaborate, I think the interactions that RJ had with his 10 and 11 year old friends was much more rich now that they're all more aware of the Wizarding World and in most cases, have read the books or seen the movies (or both!).   I'm actually impressed that with hosting themed birthday parties for both kids since RJ's 3rd birthday, that this is the first time we've recycled a theme.

Birthday Party Themes Over the Years
RJ	Logan
Age 3: Cars	Age 1: Yellow Submarine
Age 4: Dinosaurs	Age 2: Outer Space
Age 5: Lego	Age 3: How to Train Your Dragon
Age 6: Harry Potter	Age 4: Minions
Age 7: Star Wars	Age 5: The Lego Movie
Age 8: Avatar: The Last Airbender	Age 6: Hulk Smash/Avengers/Super Heroes
Age 9: Percy Jackson's Greek Gods	Age 7: Minecraft/Blarbland
Age 10: Hockey	Age 8: Emerald Pyramid/Themeless by Choice

Our guests entered through the brick wall between Platforms 9 and 10 to take the Hogwarts Express to Hogwarts.  Upon arriving, they were sorted into their houses (they were presorted by a poll in the invitation), and received a wand (mostly hand carved by RJ, but Logan made one, and I made a few, too) and a house scarf and a class schedule.

The class schedule showed them which classes they could attend. 

Defense Against the Dark Arts

This class was an ongoing game throughout the party.  Upon arrival, guests, adults included, received a token, which was either an Auror Badge or a Dark Mark.  The main object of the game was for the Aurors to capture Death Eaters and for the Death Eaters to Defeat Aurors. In secret, code words were exchanged to capture or defeat or to earn back badges/marks.  At the end of the party, the Aurors had captured a greater percentage of Death Eaters!  (Special Thanks to Jennifer for helping me color in the Ministry of Magic 'M' on the Auror Badges).

Photo Credit: Jennifer Esterly

Photo Credit: Jennifer Esterly

Potions

I was a Potions Professor for two classes (Period 1 was Gryffindors and Slytherins, Period 2 was Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs).   As a class we made Felix Felicis in my cauldron over the stove, which the students could later drink (I chose tasty edible ingredients to stand in for the actual Harry Potter potion ingredients - so, for example, horseradish was really vanilla pudding, and ashwinder eggs was orange oil in water to look like tiny egg yolks.)  After class, the students could try making two different potions that didn't require heat on their own.  All the potions ingredients could be found in our potions store room.  After most guests left, there was a special request for another potions class.  So we reconstituted a Basilisk with a (controlled?) fire in the living room.

Photo Credit: Jennifer Esterly

Charms

I'm not sure if anyone actually did this in the Charms classroom, but there were balloons to practice "Wingardium Lev-i-OH-sa" in there.


Astronomy Class

We had the telescope set up in the Astronomy Tower (RJ's room), but it wasn't dark out, which made that tricky.  There was a worksheet with constellations, but the kids instead went digital and looked up info about stars on RJ's phone app.




Divination

This is another one that might've fallen flat, but our Hogwarts Students could make cootie catchers for predicting the future.






Care of Magical Creatures

Students were encouraged to make a page about a magical creature to add to Newt Scamander's "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them" textbook.










Herbology

The boys and I made mandrakes before the party, which needed to be repotted into a bigger pot by the Herbology students.  When watered regularly, the mandrakes should grow "hair" (wildflowers) from the top of their heads.




Transfiguration

I made a little matching game where they paired up the objects/creatures and counterspells that Professor McGonnagal taught in Transfiguration class for First through Third Year students.



Other Activities

Our Hogwarts students also had the opportunity to carve their own wands as apprentices of Ollivander.  However, since it was a day in the triple digits and the carving station was outside, it was a largely ignored station.

Students could also make their own quills from feathers and replaceable pen inserts.



Food

I tend to overdo it on food and this party was no exception.  For snacks, we had a veggie tray, Luke's Lightning Bolts (okay, they're pretty much organic cheetos), hummus and pita chips, guac and tortilla chips, and the ever-popular pumpkin pasties.  A major shoutout goes to our birthday boy, who actually assembled a good number of the pasties, freeing me up to work on the other food for the party.  For dinner (at tea-time), we enjoyed Cornish Pasties and Vegetarian Pasties as well as Shepard's Pie and a Vegetarian Shepard's Pie.  Butterbeer and Pumpkin Juice were available, as were ingredients to make both more fun for the adults.  Firewhiskey was also available for those over 21!





Cake
RJ wanted a snitch cake, and it was a butterbeer flavored cake, complete with butterbeer buttercream, butterbeer pudding filling, and caramel wings.

We also had chocolate cauldron cakes with orange buttercream frosting, and Harry's favorite dessert, treacle tart (my first attempt, made with homemade golden syrup). 

RJ also requested chocolate raspberry ice cream, since that was the first ice cream that Harry consumed in Diagon Alley with Hagrid.









Favors

All of our guests could take home chocolate frogs and peppermint toads.  They also took their mandrakes, broom pens, a plastic cauldron, their potion vial with their felix felicis (unless they already drank it for luck), and their scarves.

At the end of the day, I had a very, VERY happy 11 year old.  I am a very happy mom, too.  I truly love his group of friends.  They come from all facets of his life: School, Hockey Team, Science Olympiad Team, our family friends, best friend since her birth, etc., and even though some of them only see each other at his party, or have met for the first time, they all manage to get along and seem to enjoy each other's company.  Not all tweens could do that without drama and yet he assembles this group who can.  He attracts good kids and for that, we are extremely grateful.  It's an added bonus that we enjoy the company of their parents, too!  I also have to add that after the last guest left, RJ came inside and immediately tackle-hugged me and said thank you for making his day amazing.  It is nice to be appreciated and I'm super proud to be his mom.

Gramma Ho! Ho!

On July 8, our family lost a precious member. The woman that I've known and loved my whole life as "Gramma Ho! Ho!" passed away. She was truly an amazing woman and one of my favorite people in this world. She babysat me a lot when I was little and she was always fun, getting right down on the floor with us and going along with our crazy antics. As I got older, I found that she was not only fun, but also inspiring and supportive. We might not have agreed on everything, but I learned from her that it was important to be open minded and to listen respectfully to all perspectives in a debate. I wish there were more people out there like her. 

I am grateful that she passed peacefully, and on her own terms after a relatively short period of illness, but I still wish that she had more time with us. I was given the opportunity to write and deliver her eulogy along with my cousin, Troy this week and wanted to share what we said. I think it painted a loving picture, but in some ways there just aren't enough words to truly express the love we had for her.

Gramma's Eulogy

Troy: We all lost a wonderful woman a couple of weeks ago. Helen was our grandmother. She was also a devoted wife to Charles, a loving mother to Bobby, Carol, Dave, and Ronnie, and a caring grandmother to Cheryl and I, as well as Amy, Charlie, and Becca. Those are just a few of the special relationships each of us gathered here today had with this amazing woman.

Cheryl: My sister said to me the other day, “Hey, remember when Gramma kicked the pumpkin down the driveway?” Most of you probably don’t know what I’m talking about, because it’s a pretty silly memory, but I do. I vividly remember her accidentally kicking this silly plastic pumpkin toy down our driveway on her way to say something to my parents as they left for the evening. While physical humor is funny and all, I think the reason why we remember it so many years later was that it was just one example of how she didn’t take herself too seriously and laughed right along with us. We did a lot of laughing together because she was a hands-on kind of grandma. We have no shortage of happy memories of her playing with us. My sister and I were fortunate that she played with us enough to have a recurring character in our imaginary world. Her alter-ego, named "Joyce Mann" was a business women, a clothing designer, or talent agent, depending on the day. She dove head first into playing. 

Troy: Our grandma had a ton of patience. She would, day after day, believe me when I would say that I would ride the tricycle around the the whole block, and she would still carry the thing at least halfway around when I would inevitably give up riding it. It wasn’t until I got older that I realized what a feat that was! She also patiently and repeatedly reheated ramen noodles, which she called “baggy soup” for my sister Becca, who was a very picky eater and took so long to eat lunch that it kept getting cold.

Cheryl: She also tried her best to patiently find all 52 or more playing cards that my sister and I would hide all over the house in obscure places. My mom was still finding playing cards when she sold that house. I could talk for hours about all the happy memories I had personally, but she wasn’t just that funny, kind, caring, and spunky grandma who arrived either on a moped or in a bright turquoise car with a hefty speeding ticket in hand, she was also a loving mother, who took the time to know her kids and play with them. 

Troy: When they were young, she could be found building igloos in the snow with them, and it is apparent that she continued to fulfill and nurture them, and all of us, really, into our adult lives too. 

Cheryl: Grandma was a teacher, a really outstanding one, to year after year of religious ed students, once famously using a cassette tape of me saying my prayers to show her 6th graders that if a two year old could do it, then so could they. She taught each and every one of us so many things. 

Troy: She was a master at card games. She played lots of different card games with her friends, but most of us kids only remember her teaching us how to play war. And she would always let us win, even when we knew she was doing it. That goes for playing the Wheel of Fortune board game and Monopoly, where she was always the shoe. She taught many of us music, too. And she made sure that her children had opportunities to learn the instrument of their choice, even if it was the drums or the the trombone. 

Cheryl: She taught me how to tailgate in that turquoise car of hers, when I still had a learner’s permit. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who she told to get a little closer to the car in front of me, either. 

Troy: She undoubtedly had her fun with cars, once having a contest with my dad seeing who could smoke the tires of his Buick Skylark more. She also did a burnout in a school parking lot while picking up Uncle Ronnie after a student yelled out, “Light them up, Mrs. H!” 

Cheryl: She taught me to knit and to love all kinds of music and to always be thankful for what I have, whether it was talent or opportunities or sheer luck. She also taught me, over the phone, how to make my first Thanksgiving gravy, when I wasn’t coming home from Boston that year. She started with, “You have to get the drippings into a kittle” and she stayed on the phone until I had something resembling gravy. I was fortunate to have learned from a master, because she made the best mashed potatoes and gravy I have ever tried. She could make a delicious gravy out of thin air - I however am a mere mortal who requires the meat drippings. 

Troy: The last few years she would come over my house for Thanksgiving dinner. I still can vividly recall her disappointment if my mom didn’t have the turkey neck ready for her. After dinner, she would always look forward to our competitive game of Uno. 

Cheryl: She had some standard dishes that she excelled at - her deviled eggs would disappear in moments flat and those dilled oyster crackers were addictive. Those are just a couple of examples though - she made a lot of good classic comfort food and was happy when others enjoyed eating it - even sometimes making several different meals to meet the various food preferences of her family. She was also more than happy to share her secrets. Those deviled eggs didn’t have a real recipe, but she happily shared her directions over the phone. Sometimes her culinary adventures were even a little unconventional. After all, she did once make an apple pie with paprika instead of cinnamon, which she even had to borrow special from a neighbor. And fudge was a particular kitchen nemesis.
Gramma took pleasure in the simpler things in life like comfort food and sitting out on a lawn chair outside her garage. Her favorite “fancy” food seemed to be the coconut shrimp at Red Lobster. She did like eating out. My mom was convinced that she would forget to eat before doctor’s appointments because she wanted to go to Friendly’s on Union Road, which they joked might have closed because of all the napkins she smuggled home in her purse.
She also saw things in a very practical sense. In the Corning Glass Museum, she one pronounced, “Hey I have those glasses at home. I got them from the gas station.”, basically unabashedly saying what we were all thinking, that these glasses were looking pretty common to us.
I can’t talk about my Gramma without talking about music. Music played a big part in her life and it was something that we shared. She truly felt music and understood its power. 

Troy: She loved reminiscing about how she played her accordion on TV when she was young, and she would happily play her organ whenever anyone would ask, all the while qualifying the performance with some statement about her not being so good at whatever she was playing. 

Cheryl: She was so much more talented than her humility would let her see. When I was maybe 9 or so, I wrote some words down, and told her that I wrote a song and asked her to play it. I didn’t write any notes though, so she wrote and played a melody for it. I don’t think she had any idea that writing music was quite a special talent to have. She spent a lot more energy on encouraging all of our talents, regularly attending concerts, recitals, sports games, and school musicals and taught by example how important practice was for getting good because she regularly practiced, well into her later years, always trying to improve. She was the one person in the audience that actually seemed like they wanted to be at the Junior High Band Concert and was enjoying the performance. She was truly proud of all of our endeavours, evidenced by how her friends would connect us to our accomplishments when they met us. Also, I remember her telling me all about how quickly my cousin Becca was learning to play the keyboard and how proud she was. That’s a theme that doesn’t end with musical endeavours either. I can’t tell you how many times she has expressed her amazement at my mom’s skill in nursing tiny little NICU babies or how she told me how smart and hardworking Troy was and how proud she was that he got into Pharmacy School. 

Troy: She was also so excited to go to one of my t-ball games that she literally drove her brand new ford focus over a giant log trying to park too quickly. And you always knew that she was listening to you and understood what you had told her because the phrase “I see said the blind man to the flea” would come out. 

Cheryl: The flea? Isn’t it the deaf uncle?” 

Troy: That’s probably why I laughed so much. Or because she pointed with her funny finger when she said it. But she was supportive, either way. 

Cheryl: And If we measure our worth in how well we support others, then there is no civilization in this universe that could afford her. 

Troy: For those of you that don’t know, Helen passed away after a courageous battle against cancer. She was definitely a fighter, coming back from impossible odds many times, whether it was from major abdominal surgery or heart surgery, or when she defeated lung cancer in December. I think this poem, which she loved, and had an ever present home on her fridge, sums up how her faith helped her through such difficult times: 

One night, a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His lie there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.
This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you’d walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.
The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you. 

Cheryl: What I find impressive about her, in addition to her strength and kindness was that even in her death, she was thinking of others. The reason you don’t see a casket here today is because she selflessly donated her body to research and education at UB, so that others might not have to suffer from cancer or so that others could learn from her. She told me about it earlier this year and explained her reasoning by nonchalantly saying, “Well it’s not like I need it when I’m gone. It’ll do better to help other people than it will in the ground.” In some way, it was her final act of attempting to throw an illness out her car window on Union Road like she claimed she did for so many childhood cold viruses.
She was one impressive woman and has the spirit of a much younger one. For example, in addition to supporting science, she also embraced new technology. Now, sometimes, that didn’t go so smoothly. Like the time she was checking our answering machine messages when we were on vacation in the early 90’s and somehow reset the outgoing message to herself, clearly trying to figure the thing out, simply muttering, “huh?”. For a week, “Huh?” was the outgoing message. Despite her answering machine woes, by her 70’s and 80’s, she had mastered voice mail, and was emailing me (and nearly my entire contact list once when she hit the reply to all button from an address change email I had sent). 

Troy: She was on Facebook, and using a smartphone, She even knew how to take selfies. 

Cheryl: But we do have to say one more time, that no, Gram, it’s not the phone. 

Troy: You actually did permanently delete all your contacts when you inexplicably reset the phone. 

Cheryl: She loved to download craft ideas and patterns on the computer, 

Troy: Even if she downloaded viruses along with them and then somehow managed to lose them by dragging them into the system files of the machine or deleting them entirely. 

Cheryl: The point is that she was constantly trying, and growing and evolving and that is a beautiful thing. Another thing that was beautiful was her crafts. She could crochet and knit and paint and sew, although the good old Pfaff sewing machine had a nasty habit of breaking thread and needles when it couldn’t keep up with her and was often the recipient of some choice words that she taught me to never ever repeat, especially not to my parents, and definitely not in a church. The craft supplies might have made her apartment a bit cramped at times, but she loved making things. And she loved giving them away. While she was always concerned about not being able to give a big flashy gift, it was those handmade gifts, from knitted or crocheted cabbage patch doll clothes to painted glass Christmas ornaments to baby blankets and Harry Potter scarves to completed puzzles. It’s those gifts that we will cherish the most. 

Troy: She liked to surprise people with her work. While I’m sure there’s a million stories like it, I remember my dad telling me how she redid the entire interior of his Chevy Biscayne in one day. An amazing accomplishment indeed. 

Cheryl: Gramma Ho! Ho! has said on many occasions that she did not want a funeral, but instead wanted a party, so despite the fact that we are sad and missing her, I will celebrate her life and enjoy life. I encourage you to smile at your memories and embrace the ways that she has become a part of you. I tend not to wear my emotions on my sleeve, but I have always been sensitive when it’s come to my Gramma. It is for good reason that in asking me to give this eulogy, my mom followed up her initial “would you like to give the eulogy?” with “can you?”. I think I just told her yes at the time, even though truthfully, I’m still not sure I can get through it, but I couldn’t not try, because when you have a woman as special and amazing as my Gramma, you emulate her strength, one word at a time, and do it. Because she more than deserves a loving send off and the party she requested.
So, let’s talk about this party. I think all we need is some beer, a bottle of goldschlager, a few deviled eggs, and a swimming pool, because I think that diving into a pool while still wearing your only dry clothes is a perfect way to honor her memory. And yes, she actually did that. As a kid, I had no idea that beer was the reason why it was so easy to convince her to join us in Uncle Dave’s swimming pool despite her not bringing a suit or a change of clothes. I love that she knew that it was okay to let loose once in a while. After all, she had 4 kids, 3 of which were boys, so I think a little letting loose was called for. I mean seriously, who wouldn’t want a beer or a shot after her kids fought over a vacuum cleaner and instead of cleaning the carpet, put a giant hole in the door.

Troy: There’s really no good way to say goodbye to the wonderful woman she was, so we’re going to leave you with the words of a love song. 

Cheryl: It’s from an Elvis song, so I think she’d approve. “Take me to your heart/For it's there that I belong/And we'll never part”. Here’s to you, Gramma.  We’ll always be your little shrimps.  

Troy: Oh, and yeah, we totally figured out what you were saying in your head when your mouth was saying shrimps.

We did actually take a swig out of the goldschlager bottle right there in the church to toast her, and as soon as I got back to my pew, Logan asked, "What is that smell?" I think I needed that chuckle even though tears were streaming down my face.  That smell was the strong cinnamon on my breath from the goldschlager.  I carried the bottle around her party so that everyone who wanted to could salute her, just like Lance and I did on the night she died, and as Troy and I did after her eulogy.  I am really really really going to miss her.

Also, did you know that death notices are paid advertisements?  You have to pay the Buffalo News $9.50 a line to print a death notice.  My mom submitted one, but I though Gramma deserved more than a few (expensive) lines, so I submitted info for them to write a full obituary in the paper.  The information they requested was limited and there weren't any options to add her children's spouses or her grandchildren or great grandchildren or even important people (like Grandpa Ho! Ho!) who predeceased her, but I submitted anyway with a picture my mom took.  Obituaries, unlike death notices are not guaranteed.  The newspaper only prints them if they have space and if they are deemed newsworthy.  Well, they took the submission, and wrote her a full obituary.  I wish *I* could've written it and included all the information, but I think they did a pretty good job.

http://www.buffalonews.com/city-region/obituaries/helen-d-hoelzl-teacher-of-catechism-eucharistic-minister-20150718

Lance and Cheryl Go to Hawaii, Day 2 (September 23, 2013): Kona-Kailua, Waimea, Honokaa, HI

We woke up super early (Naturally!  Without a child whining in our ear to make him breakfast!) on our first morning in Hawaii.  Since we were up early, we thought it would be a good idea to go for a run and see a little bit of Kona-Kailua along the way and stop for breakfast on the way back.  This was not a serious run, since a.) we were on vacation and b.) we kept stopping to see stuff, but it felt good to run outside (and together!) for a change and it was very peaceful out so early.

Along our route, we not only enjoyed the coastline, but also saw the Mokuaikaua Church (the first church in Hawaii) and the Hulihee Palace.

Lance at Hulihee Palace
(It didn't remind of us of a Disney Princess Palace Either)

Mokuaikaua Church

The Drifter

The Waterman

When we were done running and stretching, the place we wanted to eat breakfast at was just opening.  We both thoroughly enjoyed our acai bowls at Basik.  Then we headed back to our hotel to take a dip in the ocean and the pool, before showering and checking out of the hotel, all before 10am.

Our next stop was at a coffee shop along the highway to get some Kona coffee (which we very quickly became addicted to on this trip - it's SO much better than any other coffee).

After getting our fix, we arrived at the Puuhonua o Honaunau National Historical Park (Thank goodness the government decided to shut down the week AFTER our trip).

This was an interesting place to visit, because it was the site where the ali'i (royal chiefs) of the Kona district resided as well as (separated from the royal grounds by a 10ft tall, 17 ft thick wall) the site of the Pu'uhonua, which was a place of refuge for those who broke a kapu (sacred law) to seek absolution (if they could get there alive - Kapu breakers were chased and their penalty was usually death, unless they could reach a Pu'uhonua, where blood was not allowed to be shed and where they would be absolved).

Hale o Keawe

The site included a reconstruction of the Hale o Keawe temple, which once housed the bones of the ali'i, lending the spiritual power to the Pu'uhonua.  

Ancient Fishing Device

From there, we left for Waimea, which is a town nestled in the middle of Hawaiian ranch land.

A cinder cone on the way to Waimea: Also a place where we noted that NO ONE HAD TO PEE!!

We stopped for lunch at Merriman's.  This was absolutely DELICIOUS!  The restaurant is known for being the original home of Hawaiian regional cuisine, is frequently named "Best Big Island Restaurant", and is locally sourced!  This marks our second poke and our second meal involving raw fish (ahi is SO good in Hawaii).

Next on our agenda was visiting the Waipio Valley Lookout, which is accessible from the pretty little town, Honokaa, which was also near where we were staying the night.

The Waipio Valley is stunning.  It is basically a lush green gorge that cuts through about 6 miles of 2000ft mountains, starting at the ocean.  The mouth to the valley is a remote black sand beach.

These next few pictures are Lance and I "doing the Aunt Helen", where we're recreating the photograph of her from the Waipio Valley Lookout featured on her living room wall.

We enjoyed the view and then traveled back to Honokaa and up into a remote part of the hills leading up to Mauna Kea to check into Waianuhea Inn.

Our first lava tube!  On the Waianuhea Grounds

View of Mauna Kea from Waianuhea

Stray Goat!

After getting an orientation to our new residence for the night (we stayed in the Olu'olu room), we wandered around the gorgeous grounds, meeting a goat who had somehow strayed from his penned up friends, seeing the rooster, and basically just relaxing in one of the most peaceful places on Earth.

At 5, we were treated to wine and pupus (appetizers) in the great room, after which we decided to go into Honokaa, buy some more wine, and then have it with some yummy calzones at Cafe Il Mondo.

When we returned, we soaked in the hot tub, where we enjoyed the contrast with the mountain mist and intermittently viewed the stars while drinking more of our bottle of wine.

Did I mention how awesome Lance is?

More pictures of Day 2 are here.